turning my back on the sinkhole

i don't know how these things exactly happen.

i'm goin' along 'okay' and i turn and there's
this huge huge dark hole right at the edge of
my toes.

you know what it's like?
it's like those darn sinkholes that we've been
seein' in the news.

bam.
they just swallowed up the fast food restaurant's
drive-thru.

well, yesterday, i was almost the drive-thru.

my toes hit the edge of the hole.
my arms shot out and waved frantically all over the
darn place.

i fell backward, just outside the hole.
and then, i crept to the edge and dangled my feet
and legs in it.

money stuff.
again.
even more budgeting.
even more tightening the belt.

woe is me stuff.
what am i doin' stuff.
strugglin' stuff.
worn out and tired stuff.

laying down on the edge of the hole, i cried.
i looked down into the dark pit and really
wondered if i was gonna pull off what i wanted to pull off.

my sons came and pulled me back from the edge.
sat and talked with me.

bob met me over in the restaurant part of the place
and gave me that serious honest talk that he does so well.

somewhere along the way, and i seriously think the
'west wing' the boys made me take a break and watch may
have been a big part of the push, i turned my back on
the sink hole.

here's the deal......
you got something you want to do.
do it.
if you're doin' it for a reward, quit now.

let me repeat that line.

if you're doin it for a reward, quit now.

be clear on that, ter.

there's only one reason that will keep you goin'
no matter what.

cause you have to do it.
you're driven to do it.
it is what pumps thru your blood.

it took me til this morning to really understand that.

yesterday i knew i'd get up and do it cause i had to.

i didn't understand why i had to tho.

it totally totally pumps thru me.

so get up, and do what you gotta do, ter.
and rejoice in these men in your life who come and
hang out at the sinkhole's edge with you.

josh said to me last nite, 'let us help pull you up.
because we're a team. and that's what teams do for each other.'

and the rewards are all around me.