Thursday, August 26, 2010

untanglin' my laces...

'okay, so what is it you're getting out of this
book?' he asked....

hmmmmmm........that means i have to sum it up.
not just share wonderful little pieces of it.
(altho, i did that too....)

i thought about it.

she's reminding me of the sacredness of the journey.

she's reminding me that all this 'stuff' that has been
wearing me down isn't what the journey is about.
it's about what i do with this stuff.

she's reminding me of the power that i have inside of me.

she's reminding me of the sacredness in me.

that's a pretty big reminder.

and it's beyond a reminder. she's touching those memories
and making all that stir inside of me again.

that's pretty big too.

this morning i woke up wishing he was still here.
i would have bombarded him with a question first thing.

because yesterday i told him that she was reminding me
that what's goin' on isn't about me. but what i do with it is.

and then this morning i woke up thinking it's entirely about me.

i woulda asked him to untangle that for me. or at least help
me with the untangling.

and so, since it was just me, i got up and tried to figure
it out as i made my bed and got all set for the day.

and i came up with this.

it's both.

that's really what i came up with.

a whole whole lotta stuff isn't about me. i don't
have any part of.

and a whole whole lotta stuff i have a hand in.

i need to see which is which.
i think that's important.
and i need to see what part i play in the things i have
a hand in.

because if i can see that, i can work with that.

that goes directly with the raising the bar stuff i mentioned
a few days ago. when you're part of it, the choices you make
matter. raise the bar on those choices.

and if i really don't have a part in stuff, to see that
would be so helpful too.

much much easier to let it go that way.
and when you hang on to stuff you have no part of,
that seems to cause a whole lotta problems.

so i think it's both.

and i think i have a lot of untangling to do.

which is a good thing.

i feel like my laces of my dancing shoes got all tangled
up and i haven't been able to dance with the universe.
i've been plunked on the floor, feet knotted together.

not anymore, buster.
well........i'm still plunked on the floor.
one foot's actually kinda sore.
but i'm untanglin' fast now.
and i'm massaging that foot of mine.

cause i have some dancing i really wanna do........

No comments: