a gentle breeze

gosh it's soft outside.
breezy, gray and soft.

i sat outside on my stoop saying good morning
to the world, thinking my thoughts, and just
bein' gentle with myself.

i watched the clouds blow by up in the sky.
they were movin' really fast.

kinda like life, i thought.

it reminded me of some quiet time i stole yesterday.

i knew i just needed some time to sit with my
thoughts, so i grabbed some mindless work,
cozied myself in, and just let myself ponder.

i was wonderin' what it was all about again.

i've been busy.
workin' hard.
and i wondered what that was all about...
well, besides payin' the bills.
which is really what a lot of the work has been about.
what's it about beyond that?

so, okay, maybe i'll never get what it's all about.

but i did understand what i've learned before...
that whatever it's about, it's got to include the moments.
that the responses in all the millions of moments are what
makes the differences in our lives.

i closed my eyes as the wind blew across my face
and thought of the moments.
and i thought of my cave.

of how i've put everything in there.

no....not everything.

i never put my sons in that cave, did i?
i put everyone in my life in there, all my beliefs,
all that i do...i put all that in the cave.
but not my sons.

'did you put your arm in the cave, ter?' i asked myself.
'how about your feet?'
'the guys are just as much a part of you as your limbs are.
you didn't need to put them in.'

and i thought of that. and smiled. that right there is enough
to say i'm the luckiest person alive. i filled with that feeling.

i pictured sitting outside the cave.
everything was in the cave and i could just relax on the
outside. feel the breeze, watch the sky, enjoy the moment.
and feel gratitude.

and that's all i did.

and it felt perfect.

how nice to have a cave to hold your cares for awhile.
how nice to sit outside it...and just be.