Sunday, October 10, 2010

day two...

i have lived in maryland most of my life.
i've left for small amounts of time here and there.
and have tried to go elsewhere more than once.
the last few years i've been dreamin' about relocating.
i have never really appreciated the state.

until the past few weeks.

seems like i keep noticing how beautiful it is.

this little vacation thing i'm doin' with the guys
has been waking the appreciation up big time.
it had started recently, quietly.
and now it's really really making noise inside of me.

we went to west virgina the other day, to a great little
spot, but then ended up back at a park in maryland.
it was in the maryland park i melted and felt like i had
touched magic. i wanted to stay there forever.

yesterday we went to a spot i hadn't been to in 30 years.
in maryland.
and yeah, it was less than an hour away.
and when we stood there looking at some of the most
beautiful scenery...full of drama and power...i stood
there amazed at myself that i hadn't been here over and
over again.

i would have driven hours to see this. and here it is.
right here.

i thought about it.
i'd been there two times. each time was back in my
'dating days' a million years ago.

once kids came along, i got concentrated there, and while
we did day trips, of course, this place got missed.
it was more model train places and campsite places,
that kinda stuff.

then i hit divorce/build your life again days where it
was all i could do keep it all together. and when we finally
did day trips, we hit places we had seen on some of my
art travels out of state.

and now, finally, i've moved into days when i can look up
and wander a bit. and i'm seein' i don't need to wander far.

i stood there at this overlook next to zakk.
it felt so good not to have to be watching out so that he
didn't hang over the edge or something like when he was three.
i looked at the small kids there, thought they were adorable,
and was so relieved mine had grown.

we stood there talking about how beautiful it was.
and i tried to explain how i was stunned at the beauty of our
state. it was sinking in to me how much i need to open my eyes
to the world right around me.

we took back roads all around for a bit, i ohhed and ahhed
over houses so big i couldn't imagine anyone really lived in them.
the guys were patient with me each time i exclaimed 'is THAT a
'yes, mom. that's a house.'
i was amazed at how the richness went on and on and on.
i knew there was money up that way, but i didn't realize there was
so much for so long.

you'd think i'd never noticed before.

i'm not sure i had.

we ended up in a little town that again, i hadn't been to
since pre-kid days.

the guys loved it. noah immediately said he wanted to come back
when it was decorated for the holidays. i smiled. i was in.

they were the ones who tugged me into an antique shop.
i purposely stayed away from shopping while with them.
and here they were, pulling me in. noah found yet another old
book and was happy. i found an idea for something i wanted to
make and pointed it out to zakk as i drafted him into creating
it with me. josh was delighting me in the way he talked to everyone.
i love to travel with his energy.

another great day...
teasing, laughing, talking, exploring, soakin' it all in.
and seein' just how beautiful this state is.
kinda cool.
kinda way cool.
think it's about time i noticed.

one more day.

i've got one more day to enjoy these guys all to myself.
and i'm gonna drink in every moment.

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