an insightful day...

we put out our newsletter today.
we have a section called 'in our hearts'
where we ask everyone to hold certain people
in their hearts this month.

this time around i mentioned a friend of mine
who's struggling with hepatits c. one of the
things that seems to add to the struggle is that
she looks fine. and while that is good in many
ways, it does seem to add to the isolation of it
all.

another friend of mine is struggling with depression
and i think there's some sense there that he carries
that since you can't see it, it should be easy for
him to fix.

how lonely and hard that would be to feel that way.

so i mentioned the isolation of having illnesses not
so very visible.

i don't think i've ever gotten so much response to
that section as this time around.

apparently there's a lot of us out there walkin' around
with stuff that other people can't see. and that's taking
quite a toll on the people carrying it.

one of the last notes i got mentioned that in the new age
sphere there's a lot of guilt dumped on those people
and 'quick cure' lectures.

i understood this as i was feeling some of that same
guilt with my finances.

if i manifested correctly, believed enough, did what i
was sposed to....well then, it would all work.
and since finances are tight, i must be doing something wrong.

i totally understand what she was talking about there.

i just had to walk thru this inside myself over my own stuff.
and to feel that with your illness seems like it would be
so darn hard.

people are opening up and telling me their stories. telling
me what they are carrying around.

and i am so glad that they are.

when i was having my own struggles with my own dark stuff,
i found compassion every where i turned when i let people in.

it's the letting people in that's hard.
and how to do that.
and how to balance it all.

it's quite a dance.

what i'm taking away from today is that i want to make sure
i offer the space to people i meet to let me in.

everyone's carrying a story.
i've known that. and i enjoy hearing them.
i try to offer space for that.

but this is a bit of a different angle.

not everyone feels safe to put out what's goin' on inside
them. to try to step beyond that isolation.

who makes the first move?

i think i want to offer that.

i think today has increased my awareness about that
and how important that is to offer.

we're not isolated once we let each other in.

it's the letting in that we have to learn.

it's the letting people know that they aren't alone
that i want to work on.

and i know, i know darn well, that in doing that,
i will feel more connected also.

it feels like it's been a really important day over
here in bone sigh land.

i am so lucky to have this job.
feelin' deeply grateful right now.