a sonday

i hadn't made human contact of any form yet.
came down to the computer and opened up an email
with the subject line 'noah.'

he had done something really special for someone
and she wanted me to know, and wanted me to
know how awesome he is.

it's hard to describe, but the whole experience
felt like a prayer.

it was so quiet, i hadn't really tuned into life
yet...and there she was tellin' me how he touched
her.

i felt so grateful i got to share in noah's life
like i do. i'm not just bein' a mom when i say
he's special.
all three of my sons are.
and that's not just cause i'm their mom that i think that.
i know that, and i realize how lucky i am to have them.

what a start to the day...
a perfect start.
a reminder of what the next three days are all about.

because, the next three days are family days here.

this year, we're budgeting big time.
and so 'vacation' really has turned into just
family time.

we'll wander....but without any extras.

i cried about it at first.
i want to give these guys the world.
they do so much for me, i want to give them everything
in return.

and well, right now, i can't give them much materially.
and that bummed me out a lot.

but we talked about it.
and their spirits so shone thru.

and now, what the next three days have turned into
is some special kinda golden possibilities.

we budgeted last year when we did this.
we were payin' attention to finances.
but the big thrill was that the 'splurge' was going
out to eat. you know.....at a real vegetarian restaurant.

we rarely do that, so that was a thrill.
and it was so much fun. the splurge there made it all
feel really special.

this year, that got cut off the list.

i truly was so bummed i cried.

it's not about the food.
it's about doin' something special for them.

but you know what?
something's happening....

noah and i made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
last nite for the day...and it was fun.
peeled a bag of carrots for josh so he'll keep
eating.
we joked about it as noah peeled and i sliced.

and i could feel something...

this team that we are....this team that we've become
because we kinda had to...it's rallying again.

it's just about being together.
i know that.
it's just that wanting to give them stuff, ya know??
i just want to give them so much...

but i see it, i do.
i've seen it before.
we've been here before.
and some of my best memories are from times like this.

that note in my email box this morning started it all.
i've got one heck of a group here.

and the vacation part of it all will be totally being
with each other with no other distractions.

and somehow, i think that's all we're gonna need....

and in realizing how lucky i am that we're gonna
have this time together...and bein' together is
enough...well, the tears come again.

tears of gratitude...

i get to spend the day with the three most amazing
guys in the world.....and they're okay with just
spending it with me.

feelin' grateful....
and ready for some fun!