baby i know....

i quit early.
what the heck.
the holiday mood had arrived...
i wandered up to check in with the guys.
they were still working.
hmmmm....
didn't seem right to stop them and make them goof
with me...
so i curled up with a new weird book i got.
ate some popcorn and relaxed.
for just a bit.
then i got up, called bob to tell him i knew where he
could find a fascinating dinner date.
no answer.
decided i needed to hear some clarissa.
(the author of 'the dangerous old woman')
curled in at my desk and did some work while i listened.
this woman just delights the depths of my being.
i filled with inspiration as i listened.
josh called.
he can get out early.
can he come for dinner?
absolutely! bob's not taking me anywhere, come on over, i laugh.
i finish up my cd, put my work away and come up to the kitchen.
the boys have begun their baking.
yep.
i can't believe it and i actually laugh out loud when i see zakk
sitting at the table with a pile of apples in front of him.
he's making an apple strudel. i'm not sure but i think he's winging
it on the recipe.
noah's at the counter starting pumpkin pie.
i laugh again.
they have no idea why i'm laughing.
they can't imagine the complete delight inside of me.
i could type it out here, but i doubt there's a woman alive who
hasn't experienced the many kinds of thanksgivings that i have...
you know the ones...
the overworked/underthanked ones.
or the ones where even the people you didn't like were missing
and you couldn't hide from the aloneness echoing all around you.
there were ones overshadowed by death, sadness, family division.
there were ones that were okay and you made it thru and thank god
it's quiet now and there's leftovers.
but how many were delightful???
there's so many things that come together for the holidays.
and so many times, it ain't so great.
but this year, i walk up to my kitchen and laugh with delight.
the guys are baking.
josh is stopping by for dinner which i have no idea what will be and
don't care. i'm just glad he'll be here.
i'll tease bob later about the great evening out he missed with me
and laugh with delight that i have him to tease. he'll laugh back
and i'll soak up that sound.
there is love and caring at every turn.
not to mention pies and strudel.
tomorrow i spend the day with my sons...i have nothing to do but
hang out and laugh with people i truly care about and who truly
appreciate me. oh yeah, i'll cook a bit. but they'll be right next
to me in the kitchen playin' with me.
oh yeah...i'm laughing with delight.
cause, baby, i know how precious this is.
believe me, i know.