a love thought

i had a vague thought yesterday.
it just kinda wisped on thru.

and then this morning, as i typed the blog below,
it came thru again, stronger. and is now kinda knockin'
me outta my seat here.

it's the part about when i looked at my partner
and told him he was getting better with working with us.
and then he said i was too.

and i knew i was. and i knew he was.

and i knew it wasn't just the fact that i was working
and trying and he was working and trying.

there was more than just two individuals doin' their
work and comin' together. it was the mixing of our
work, the mixing of our trying, the mixing of our trust
that moved us miles.

and it's taken me this long to really really see it.

and in seeing it, i catch a glimpse of the holiness of love.

i remember years and years ago we got stuck. really really
stuck big time. and we knew that if we were gonna make it,
we each had to strengthen our weakest parts. i remember
seriously wondering if i could pull it off.

and i remember understanding that love demanded me to become
whole.

it was a pivotal moment for me.

in seeing yesterday that we truly have traveled miles,
and in understanding that those miles couldn't have been traveled
without each other, again, i see the power of love.

i had that whole 'two become one' stuff so wrong.
i looked at it oh so wrong.

love demands that i become whole.

and oh yeah, i know....i'll never be the 'whole' that i really
want to be. i know that. and love forgives that i'm not.
and love helps me to keep trying.

and it is in my growth with my partner, that i grow myself.
and there is something so incredibly holy about that.