thru the mist....

one of those thousand thread walks.

a thousand threads of thoughts running thru my mind.

i could hear her voice in my ear -
'you and i both know how short life is, and how we need
to make it what we want.'

and then another thread -

how is it we lose our ability to take care of ourselves?

and another thread -

how do i tell her she's beautiful?

another -

my own voice telling her 'it's fear. who hasn't ran
into that one and got stuck, ya know?'
and feeling compassion and non-judgment.

more threads -

my squirming when people tell me i'm beautiful on the
inside. mmmm...thanks a lot. why has that always felt
more like 'you're not all that pretty on the outside??'
why do i take that and make it a negative?

and more -

thinking about feeling healthy. feeling good. alive.
maybe what i want to be is healthy right now. maybe that
feels more important than pretty.

pretty is healthy.
healthy is pretty.

another thought -

how to be truly independent? how to truly know how to
take care of yourself.....getting there, staying there......


a thread over here -

it all ties into self love. it all ties into self love.

looking up at the beautifully perfect colored morning,
i see a haze hanging over the field.

a foggy kinda misty haze.

i stop walking.
blink my eyes.
is it my eyes?
no. it's a really cool mist hangin' there.

almost like an energy, i think.

like an aura.
a beautiful pure aura.

i think of the energy i believe in.
i think of the energy i believe is inside of us.
i think of the energy i believe is hanging around outside of us.

i turn and head towards home.

beauty, health, trust, faith, self love, strength, intention....
it's all mixed up in my thoughts.

there's so much i want to offer.
so much i want to put out there.
so much i want to open to.

focus on your energy, ter.
focus on what kinda mist is hovering right around you.
that's the way you can convey what you want to convey.

thru your mist.