i found her

something soooo sooo sooooo darn cool happened
this weekend.

my guy recently bought himself some land.
like, real recently.
that in itself is pretty exciting, but it's his
news and i swear i really do try to give him some
privacy here and there in this blog.
but ya know.......some things just need to be part of
the story.

he had walked it several times before i walked
it with him. and he mentioned a tree he wanted me
to 'meet.'

when we walked the land together, we took a
different turn or something and i never saw the
tree he was talking about. i wasn't worried, knew
i'd see it sooner or later and saw some other trees
i really loved. i didn't give it any more thought.

since then, i've had my white tree visual. and since
that visual, i have been looking for my tree that
will feel like my white tree. i knew there had to be
one out there.

i've walked by the river with josh looking, i've
driven here and there and always looked along the roads
for it. i've looked on my walks. figured i may be looking
a life time, but knew i'd find it one day.

so yeah. you see where this is going.

this weekend we took the guys to go see the land.
i fell back with noah and zakk and let bob and josh go
wander. figured it'd do 'em both some good and so i goofed
off on a log with the guys and we took pictures and such.

bob and josh doubled back and bob mentioned that tree he
wanted me to meet. he had just shown it to josh.
'let's go find it' i said.
and being the good sport that he is, bob turned right back
around and off we went.

at first glance, i knew it was a goddess tree.
i blurted out 'it's all lumpy like a woman! look it's
a goddess!' and then as i got closer, i just stopped.
i layed down flat on my back in the leaves and just
looked up at it. my breath was taken away.

i heard bob say 'well, i thought she'd like it, but i never
expected this!'

and i knew i had found my tree.
i found her.

and she's a goddess.

okay.
seriously, i don't know how to describe this without sounding
like a luney tune....but i felt like i was in the presence of
a goddess.

i've never felt that like this before. and i wanted to run
and wrap myself in her.

i had never thought of what it'd feel like to really be in the
presence of a god or goddess....what i would want to do. i guess
i just figured i'd kneel down or something. i never once thought
i'd want to be scooped up in love. but that's how i felt.
and i wanted to scoop her back and hold her in love.

i walked up to her and touched her.
wrapped my arms around her.

i found you, i thought.
i found you.

i tried to take some pictures of her. but how? she's so big.
i didn't realize til i looked at this picture here that
she has the two main arms reaching up. i just love that.

and this part......bob. it was bob who found her. and he kept
saying 'i have a tree i want you to meet.'
this is bob.
he doesn't meet trees.
but he knew i would.

bob introduced me to my white tree.
and guess what???
it's a WHITE oak.
no kidding.
no kidding at all.

and it really has been bob who's been holding my hand the
whole time leading me to self love and finding my belief in
myself....and to a place where i could believe i even had
a white tree inside of me.

the whole thing overwhelms me.
and i can still feel the trembling inside from meeting
my tree.....