Friday, April 22, 2011

a gorgeous spring morning...

a gorgeous spring morning.
my kinda spring morning.
chilly, some gray mixed in with the blue,
a breeze - just gorgeous.

walking, i had a head full of thoughts.

'nah, don't do that,' i thought, 'just enjoy the beauty.'

and i looked up at the sky.

i can get lost in the sky.
go away in the sky.
just be gone.

but i didn't do that this morning.
i just looked at the clouds and loved them.

and i thought of something i had recently said to a friend.

she suggested we go flyin' in the sky in a little airplane.

while budgeting had a whole lot to do with my answer,
so did what i was feeling inside.

'for some strange reason, i don't want to be up there right now,
i'm feelin' like i want to stay on the ground.'

i heard myself say it and was tickled it came out.
cause i hadn't realized it til then.

but it's oh so true.

i thought about why as i walked.

my ground is moving and sliding.
nothing feels solid to me right now.

and i keep tryin' to get my footing.
i keep tryin' to find something that's solid and in place.

i know there isn't anything like that.
and yet my feet keep searching.

i like that i know this.
i like that i'm aware of it.
that knowing and awareness kinda make a space for it,
and when i remember that this is going on inside of me,
i can remember to be gentle with myself.

so i walked, didn't leave the ground, and kept being gentle with myself.

a good start on this gorgeous spring morning.

1 comment:

stephey baker : Marked By The Muse™ said...

Hello! I really resonated with the tweaking part as a whole:
"tweaking inside me and in my life were being tweaked." I think this is an important conversation to open and cultivate. To me, it's the creative cycle, the ebb + flow in life and the expansion of our creative evolution as human beings. It's what opens us up and allows us to create what we desire, what is longing inside to be lived and i wonder if we find ourselves, not having that which we feel called inside to create, to live, is because on some level (the physical) we aren't positioned to create it - to birth it - if you will. I think the tweaking allows for us to become aligned with the ability to share what we truly want to share and mama you're right i don't like the tweaking so much. Sometimes i find myself resisting the tweaking only because at times it can be uncomfy YET oh so worth it once on the other side. I wonder if what you describe isn't the process of getting a new ring, like how a tree gets a new ring with each growth, with each expansion! Thank you for this post it really inspired me to feel deeper.