a gorgeous spring morning.
my kinda spring morning.
chilly, some gray mixed in with the blue,
a breeze - just gorgeous.
walking, i had a head full of thoughts.
'nah, don't do that,' i thought, 'just enjoy the beauty.'
and i looked up at the sky.
i can get lost in the sky.
go away in the sky.
just be gone.
but i didn't do that this morning.
i just looked at the clouds and loved them.
and i thought of something i had recently said to a friend.
she suggested we go flyin' in the sky in a little airplane.
while budgeting had a whole lot to do with my answer,
so did what i was feeling inside.
'for some strange reason, i don't want to be up there right now,
i'm feelin' like i want to stay on the ground.'
i heard myself say it and was tickled it came out.
cause i hadn't realized it til then.
but it's oh so true.
i thought about why as i walked.
my ground is moving and sliding.
nothing feels solid to me right now.
and i keep tryin' to get my footing.
i keep tryin' to find something that's solid and in place.
i know there isn't anything like that.
and yet my feet keep searching.
i like that i know this.
i like that i'm aware of it.
that knowing and awareness kinda make a space for it,
and when i remember that this is going on inside of me,
i can remember to be gentle with myself.
so i walked, didn't leave the ground, and kept being gentle with myself.
a good start on this gorgeous spring morning.