easter weekend

easter's always been one of my favorite holidays.
even when i wasn't christian anymore.
i just have always loved it.

and this year, it's completely gotten by me!!!
i did listen to my 'jesus christ super star' music i listen to every year.
and i did get some food and stuff like that....

but the whole part of what i love about it has just escaped me this year.
well.....until now.
i've caught it just in time!

i've been diggin' so deep tryin' to center myself in a swirling world
that i forgot some of the most important stuff! and the stuff this holiday
reminds me of.

i swear, sometimes my thickness amazes me.

zakk looked at me yesterday and asked why we even celebrate it.
kinda with that look........you know.......mom, we aren't christian,
so what the heck are you doin' here???

i launched into why i love it and why i think it's important.

i talked of miracles and unknown possibilities -
of rising from the dead -
of life after death -
of belief and trust so strong you'd walk into total darkness for it.

those are some pretty powerful things there.
and that's only the ones off the top of my head!

to take some time and celebrate those things.....
to take time and THINK ABOUT those things......
well, YEAH, i really want to.

and sitting and thinking about it all this morning, i think of how
incredible it is to take those messages that i get from easter
and put them into my life.

my regular ol' life.

(and little does zakk know that i'm gonna hit those things in
conversations thru out the day with him!!!)

yesterday i was looking at the trees out the window.
i just really stopped and looked at them.
and i think, for the first time in my life, i really 'got' how
amazing the cycles of the seasons were.
i just kinda had to stop.
it took my breath away.
it really did.
for the first time ever.

the leaves coming out after winter.

and i just smile and say how pretty it all is every year.
i enjoy the beauty, yeah.

but give me a break.
it's beyond pretty.
it's beyond beautiful...........
it's awesome!
it's amazing!

and it's a perfect time for easter.

do i have a belief so strong i'd walk into total darkness for it?
do i really believe in miracles? do i see them when they happen?
how about the life that comes after all the 'mini' deaths we go
thru all thru our lives...and then the end......what do i think of
that?

it hit.
easter hit me.
just in time.

and i've got some wonderful pondering to do......