me and me for tea

so i had my first tea with myself this morning.

used the special cup i got, sat on my back porch,
looked at the spring bloomin' all over my back yard
and sat with myself.

what a feeling it is to bring your stuff to your self
just as you'd bring it to a friend over tea.

what a feeling to sit there and try to articulate the
things you are feeling and then to try to offer yourself
the things you'd offer a friend.

compassion and understanding - offered to yourself.
listening and seeing and affirming - offered to yourself.

that's not a default setting i've got.
i think default for me is 'get thru, do what you gotta do.
hold everyone else up and keep on going.'

i think that's what i'm pretty much set at.

i have to actually intentionally go looking for the other.

odd too cause it's not like i don't need it a ton.

you'd think something you'd need a ton would just naturally
happen.

maybe it will if i do this enough times.
maybe it will.

for now, the fact that i remembered is pretty swell.
and the fact that sitting there doing it made my eyes tear up
seemed pretty important.

let's not forget ourselves in the hustle of it all, ya know?
we need us.
we really really do.