i wrote a note yesterday that's been on my mind a lot since.
well, a PIECE of the note has been on my mind.
someone wrote who misunderstood why i wasn't doing something for her.
i was glad she wrote so i could give her an explanation as there
was no need for any hurt or bad feelings.
here's a piece of my repsonse:
something i've been dealing with the last few days is people loving me
for what i am, not for what i do. i've been struggling with believing i'm
worth loving soley for who i am.
this has been helpful for me here, because i can see clearly that who i am in this
situation is truly someone who is worthy of love. because the only
driving force inside of me is kindness.
any misunderstanding of that is truly just a misunderstanding.
that part matters to me.
and i keep thinking about it.
and my life.
you'd think by now it'd be easier not to do stuff people ask me to do.
and i guess it is.
but depending on the situation and the person.
it can get pretty tricky for me sometimes.
and i get lost in the doubting of my self worth.
or......maybe not even that.
maybe in the doubting that anyone else can see my self worth if
i don't do what they want.
that's more like it, i think.
that people won't value me.
not so much that i won't.
so the deal there is do i value me enough to weather that?
do i value me enough to allow that or allow space for that?
and do i trust enough to know that there are people who
value me for me?
do i trust that enough?
there ARE people who DON'T value me for me.
and there ARE people who DO.
what if there weren't?
does it change my actions?
does it change my own valuing of myself?
so then....does it all just become a big 'so what?'
there's always gonna be both kindsa people.
fill your life with those who value you for you.
know the others will always be on the edges of your life.
and fill your acts with kindness and honesty and keep
and ter....don't forget......keep on growin' the trust.
trust in your heart.
trust in the process of life.
trust in the space to allow life to unfold.