i just want to live my life, ya know?
i was out on my walk, just wanting to do my thing.
just be left alone. i was already in that mood.
making plans to cook today.
just cause i can get lost and alone and i get the
bonus of eating!
and apparently the getting lost and alone is what i'm
i got lost in the wind.
it's so windy and so gorgeous.
i came back and sat in the chair in the yard and just
watched it play with the trees.
i watched the little weeping willow.
it's so like hair blowin' in the wind.....
and the trees above my neighbor's house.
first this clump would move. then this other clump...
just me and the trees.
i felt great.
okay, i'm good.
i can start my day.
came down to a note that just wow.......out of the blue.....
just wow.....slammed me.
it just slammed me.
i just sat there and went 'wow.'
i'm getting better at noticing when i've been hit and
what's goin' on inside of me.
this was easier, cause it's not someone i'm close to.
so it was easier to observe.
'okay, ter......what's your reaction to this and what
do you want to do with it?'
this has nothing to do with me, i decided.
this so isn't mine.
and i'm not holding it.
so, okay, this is theirs.
i handed it back their way and then i could let it go.
but something hung on.
i have a lotta love in my life.
and i know it.
and i value it and treasure it and work at it.
it's not only an okay thing i've got it,
it's a great great thing and for me, it's what life is about.
and i've noticed that it can actually bother people.
and that just stuns me.
and i think that hits really hard.
why don't we just wish each other well and rejoice in what people
have??? heck, there's a lot i don't have. why not be tickled for
the things i do have???
just as i will be for you??
that's the part that kinda gets to me.
and i guess, looking at the process here, it's where i need to
just send love. maybe i can't in person too easily. but maybe
from a distance, when i'm cooking......i can just send love
to that pain in the world that holds us back from rejoicing in
each others lives.
what an awful pain that has to be...
and how in need of love it must be.....
seeing that helps a lot.
letting go over here and offering love....