my own compass

we stood in a circle talking.
we were early for the movie and we just hung out and caught up.
i was glad bob was there.
our friend had so much stress inside of him and bob would understand some of
the causes of his stress. i figured bob would have some answers for him.
they dealt with the same kind of problems at work. and it looked like it
was getting the best of him. he'd rant a little, and i'd glance over at
bob and he'd be calmly nodding. he totally knew the deal.

then i'd look to bob for wisdom, he'd shrug his shoulders, say it's hard,
and he had no answers.

yeah.
prolly cause there aren't any.

sometimes there just aren't any.

or.....you might have to find your own. no one can give you any.

or......there's only one answer.......and you just don't know how to do it -
'release and let go.'

i watched the stress in my friend and wondered about life. wondered about how
we handle it. wondered about the answers. thought a lot about the 'release
and let go' technique...and how that's so hard sometimes...

and then we curled in to watch capt'n jack do his thing up on the movie screen.
i tell ya, that character delights me to no end. (capt'n jack in the pirates of
the caribbean series).

someone just mentioned to me they wanted to marry johnny depp. i laughed. no interest
there for me......but now.........drinking with capt'n jack does appeal.
and i don't even drink. so that says a lot.......

i laughed and delighted in him and forgot the world.

it was a total escape that i loved.

coming back to my world i see the 'stuff' again.
friends with very real and difficult things they have to deal with,
my heart a bit heavy with some of its own stuff,
the gorgeousness all around me, along with the pain.
the joys and cool things happening.
the whole darn mix.

i'm back now......to 'reality' wishing i had a compass like capt'n jack has....
sometimes i think i need one.
and then i remember.....i've actually got one......built right in.

right inside of me.

right now it's pointing downwards....down inside of me.
telling me to go a little deeper this weekend.
that i need the depth right now.....

hmmmm.....

gonna dive in those seas of mine and see what i can find......