spinning winds....

i mentioned 'the quest' yesterday.
how it hasn't gone away.

'of course it hasn't' he answered right away.

he knew.
i didn't.

that happens a lot.
he knows things a lot quicker than i do.

but i've been thinking about it lately.

there's been this intense hunk of time where there's been such
a tremendous mix of loss and gain, of love and struggle,
happiness and frustration, peace and conflict...it's been
oppoosites...and intense opposites.
and i feel like i've gained so much and well.....'lost' isn't
the right word.....'left behind' seems to fit better.
left behind so much.

truly, my head's been spinning.

yeah.
kinda like there's this crazy cyclone inside of me right now.

and, well, today i'm thinking that's exactly what needs to be there.
that i really do know, but don't understand how, it's related to
that darn quest of mine.

and instead of fighting with the cyclone,
i'm gonna let it spin me where it needs to.

this is a new feeling.

instead of fighting the winds.....just let 'em blow, ter.....

cause i have a feeling i need to be moved somewhere.

i made this deal years ago with the universe....
that i'd pay attention more. that i didn't need the kicks in the face
to move....that i'd move when i felt the tides or the winds changing.

um.....i think i kinda forgot that recently.

and i tell ya, the winds are changing.

and i don't need a kick in the face.
the cyclone is enough to get my attention.

and i'm gonna go with it.

i wonder what that means???
i wonder where it lands???