just gone.....

if you could see me, you'd laugh.
i am completely and totally gone.

i joked with zakk and noah so much this morning that they weren't sure what to do.

i could feel bob grinnin' thru the phone line at my happiness.

i musta looked at my ring ten times as i walked.

and just now, sitting here with bare feet, i wiggled them into
the rug and even my toes felt happy. i mean...they really did.

i started laughing when i caught myself delighting in the
happiness my feet were feeling.

okay, ter. you're a weirdo.

and yes, it's the ring, and bob asking me to marry him,
and all that. of course it is.
but the thing is.....there was so much deep stuff surrounding
all that. some pretty hefty conversations.

and i keep thinking of those things we said.

i keep thinking of things i've carried with me for so long that
aren't so great. sad things. things that can't stand up to the things bob
and i talked about.

i gotta say that again......
things that can't stand up to the things bob and i talked about.

and i can't even begin to describe how moving that is for me.

i keep scratchin' my head, thinking this guy really loves me.
go figure, ter. i don't think you can argue it any more. just go figure.

and all this darn work he and i have done? it makes me totally
totally believe the things we talked about. it makes me trust
what we talked about.

which changes everything inside of me.

it changes everything inside of me.

i don't know what that means for me other than my feet are really happy
along with the rest of me, that i noticed my jeans were so soft this morning
that my legs just danced inside of them and even my legs felt loved.
aand the blue birds i saw were so darn blue that the color almost knocked me over.