the smoldering stage

yesterday seemed to be one of those cosmic messages from the universe days.
seemed like i kept turning around and finding them.

so that probably set me up right for my evening when i was beginning
to get a little down about something.

it's one of those somethings that i've been kinda watchin' brewin'.
and i've been kinda wondering.
you know those times when things line up a certain way and you
watch and think 'wow, look at that....that's weird.'

one of those somethings. i've been watchin' for awhile.
and yesterday evening seemed to be when it all did the final click
in place. and i was feelin' a little down. yeah. just sad.

but wait!
ter!
stop and think about it.........

it's a weird line up of life circumstances.
a weird one.
maybe you should go with this and trust it.

now, there's a thought.
trust life.

okay. i can try, i thought.
it wasn't like i was dancing about the thought.
but i was going with it.

and then i came down to a voice message that so made me smile.
someone who had finally gotten the answer she was looking for
with a project she's workin' on.

when i called her she said that she had this heaviness that she
hadn't been able to put down.

hmmmmmm......i've had that in the background of all my goofy
giddiness lately. and i've noticed it....it's what led into
this whole trust thought i just had.

and here she was....thrilled.
something had come to her she'd been looking for.
she was rarin' to go.
the heaviness was over. it was time for her to light her fire.
you could just hear it all over her voice.

'now, if that isn't confirmation, i don't know what is,' i thought
as i headed off to the shower.

'trust this time, ter. and use it wisely.'

yeah.

so, for me, using it wisely means a lotta listening to my heart.
writing, and paying attention.

well, for pete's sakes.......that sounds really good.
no reason to be sad.
well, no.
there is some reason to be sad.
there is.
some of this stuff that lined up so weird makes me sad.
okay.
okay.
so that's okay.

sad can be in there.
you can have sad.

just no reason to DWELL on the sad.
every reason to trust the sad, and trust the whole deal.

every reason to listen.
and then to follow......

cause you got to know it will light you on fire when you do that.

yeah.
i do know that.

this must just be the smoldering stage.

and for me, realizing this shows a whole lotta growth.
so i think i'll just go smolder....