only up to page 30 of this book of mine (toward a psychology
of awakening) but i'm thinking this is one for the widget on the side...
if it keeps goin' this way, i'm gonna have to add it. cause i'm really
here's the thought that's got my interest....but i haven't done anything
with yet -but i'm sharin' now cause it's one i think a whole lot of us should be aware of.
it's the idea that we develop these defenses when we're young.
and they're fantastic when we're young cause they save us.
they keep us going.
but that when we're older, they don't help us. they turn dysfunctional.
i don't think that's news.
especially the more extreme the story...
but here's the part that i'm diggin' and does feel like news -
there's gold in those defenses.
ha! go figure!
he gives an example of someone who become ferociously independent
to survive. well, when she got older, she couldn't let people in
or get close to people. so you can see the problem.
but rather than just 'break her' of her independence (which apparently
some people did....and broke her in the process) he says that deep
inside that independence is an incredible strength.
and that she can draw on that instead of throwing the whole thing out.
so here's a quote from the book -
'if every defensive pattern contains hidden intelligence and resources,
this means that we do not have to reject the defensive personality.
instead, we need to crack it open, so that we can discover and gain
access to the intelligence and resources that lie hidden within it.'
i want to work with this for me personally.
but i want to offer this out here because of the stories i've heard
thru people coming thru bone sighs.
i have heard many a woman hate herself or her younger self for things
she has done. for the way she grew up. for things that seem to me like
they would connect to this thought.
something i love about this author is his praise for the things kids
do to protect themselves. he talks about how creative or strong or
resourceful these things are.
and i'm thinking these are the very things a lot of people hate themselves
for. wouldn't this be a nice twist to think about?
how amazing you were to come up with the things you did to survive?
how you DID survive? and now how you can find the gem in that and
discard the stuff that doesn't work anymore and is holding you back.
easier said than done, i know.
but i thought a really encouraging train of thought.
and so i wanted to share.......