Wednesday, July 6, 2011

a hurricane of hormones

well, i do believe my hormones have run amok.
(my gosh, 'amok' is one of the coolest words, isn't it??)
and it just fits perfect.

last nite in the heat of the nite, i woke up sweaty and freezing.

i mean FREEZING.

woe. weird.
i snuggled under my covers as best i could. covering my head
for extra warmth.

only to wake up a bit later soooooo hot.
and yes, sweaty.

perhaps that caught my eye and i noticed my body in a new way
this morning.

who could tell.

i got on the treadmill thinking about how cool it was that
i was runnin' around in this body.

it almost felt like living in a puppet.

i got intrigued with the whole thing. instead of pulling a string
to move your arm, you just think it. this occupied me for some time.

it felt like seeing this for the first time. it had my total attention
and was just fascinating me.

i couldn't get over how i was dwelling in this body and didn't
take better care of it.

it was so obvious to me that this is my 'vehicle' and i needed
to keep it tuned up.

in my room exercising, i worked on being aware and taking care of my
body...which somehow led into this cosmic thinking about being love
and raising my energy. i don't know how it led there, but it did.

and i got swept up in that thinking.
really being a kind and loving person.
radiating light.

oh yeah.

yeah, well, not more than 20 minutes later i was crying about someone
who makes me crazy and as i walked i found myself wanting to kick
a boulder into his face.

i wanted to break his face.

at the very least his nose.

i seriously do not like this person.

so much for being love.

and when i caught this unevenness in thinking, and reminded
myself about the cosmic 'being love' thoughts - little terri
came out in full force, hands on hips, stamping feet saying
"*i* didn't do anything. *i'm* not the one who was a creep."

and the boulder in the face idea just still felt really good.

at this point it was clear to me that my inner self was running
amok. and i laughed.

how cool is this?

this has GOT to be hormones.
can i be love thru a wave of hurricane hormones?

nah, prolly not.

i prolly can't.

i can be passionate, i thought.

i passionately dislike this person, i thought.

and i laughed some more.

and i passionately love my life, i thought.
trying to bring myself back to a little positive.

i laughed.
i think it's gonna be an interesting day...

1 comment:

Nurse Practitioner Sue said...

Ahem...I haven't had a period in over 2 months and the last one was not really a period so I'm hoping....I turn 53 this year and it would be grand gift to have that phase of my life over. Is that TMI?