focusing

i blame everything on hormones.
it's way easier that way.

if i'm really hot, it's hormones.
really cold? oh yeah, hormones.
feelin' down, hormones.
feelin' extra up and energetic, hormones.
frustrated with work...yep, hormones.
happy? oh yeah! it's happy hormones!

what does that do? am i trying to say i'm much more balanced in
'real' life when my hormones aren't acting up?? (which apparently
isn't very often~!)

i don't know.
i feel like i'm tryin' to legitimize my strong reactions.

but let's face it, they're not all because of hormones.
and i'm good with that.

today, i honestly think i'm hormonal.
which makes me laugh.
i think it's for real this time.
and i've been having some strong reactions.
and i'm watchin' and feeling.

i'm good with them. i'm watching them and i'm good with them.

yesterday i got so frustrated with work, that i swear, if 'the flow of the
universe' coulda personified itself as a person and walked in here,
i swear i woulda kicked it in the shins.

and then i got a note from a customer that reminded me of what it is
i'm really doing. and i took that in and held it. with such gratitude,
i held it.

then this morning i sat and read the news.
quite honestly, tears fell down my face as i read the headlines.
i read two stories that totally jolted my insides.

and i thought of how i wanted to kick the universe yesterday.
i did.
i was frustrated.
i still am.

but i don't think i'd kick it if it walked in today.
i think i'd burst into tears over the state of the world.

and so i get up out of my hormonal heap this morning,
feel thankful for strong emotions,
and focus not on money, not on things, not on frustration -
but on offering love.

because, my gosh, this world sure needs it bad.......
it scares me how bad...

it's one tiny tiny speck of love - but it's all i got.......
and i'm keepin' my eyes on that speck today.