morning questions...

a line in a song caught my attention this morning....
it's something like 'if you asked me to die for you, i would.'

i was stretching when i heard that line and looked up and thought
'really, gus??'

that's what the guys and i say when something just is too weird -
'really gus??'

so i got to thinking about that....
why it sounded so dysfunctional to me and would someone really do that???

and then it hit me......we do it all the time.

WE DO IT ALL THE TIME.
we die for someone else all the time.

and yes, it's dysfunctional.

but, terri, i ask, wouldn't you die for people you love?

absolutely, i think.

yeah, i would.

i think of my sons.

without a doubt.

but there's a difference........they wouldn't ASK me to.
i believe the feeling of deep love goes both ways.
and when the feeling goes both ways, i don't think anyone ever
would ask. cause it's a healthy thing.

healthy wouldn't ask.

ohhhhhh i'm thinking i hit something big.

i thought of bob.
yeah, i would die for bob too.
but that's the thing....he'd never ask me to.

so now i know i'm talking about several different things when i say 'die.'

and then my mind was just swimming and racing all at once....

oh.my.gosh.

i am no stranger to loving people who WOULD ask me to die for them.
and those people are really unhealthy people.
and it's taken such work to get to where i could see that and move away from it.

and the 'die' i mean in that situation is give yourself up, lose who you are,
be who they want you to be, play a role....lose your self.

look around you.....it's everywhere. happens all the time. haven't
we all experienced it?

i wouldn't do that for anyone (altho, i have done it plenty!)and it's
something you have to really pay attention to. so it's not always an obvious
big ol' thing you say no to. it can sneak up on you so quietly....
you have to pay attention.

i would give my life to save my son's life or something like that...
actually die......

so there's two different thoughts rollin' around at once.

physically die, and emotionally die.

someone who truly loved you would never ask for either.
they would want to save you.

wow.

tryin' that again......

someone who truly loved you would never ask for either.
they would want to save you.

i have seen many women of heart search deep inside asking themselves what's
the right thing to do with someone in their life. stay? leave? what's the
best way to love everyone?

i wonder if they stepped aside and looked at whoever they were wondering about,
and put it in this context....if it would help them see more clearly if they had
something healthy or not.

i'm thinking this is helpful.....and one i want to put in my pocket.

for both ways....
am i surrounding myself with people who truly love me and offer the healthy stuff?
and just as important....am i offering it in return?