Friday, September 2, 2011

the power of words

i was at a party once, when someone came up to me and started talking.
she looked at me and said 'i always remember you saying to me.......'
and she quoted something i apparently said to her years before.

'i said that???' i was surprised.
and had no memory of it at all.

and then i was kinda surprised it was something she actually carried around
and thought about.

it was a very odd feeling.

not too long after that, i had lunch with a friend i see about once a year.
she looked across the table and did the exact same thing.
'ya know, i remember years ago you tellin' me......'

same thing from me.
'i said that???'
same weird feeling.
i didn't remember saying it at all and here she was holdin' it for a long time.

and yes, i realize that happens to everyone. it's not because i'm some wise sage walkin' around saying things people need to write down. it's because sometimes in conversations we bump into something that really hits the nail on the head for us. it's close to home, so we hold it and carry it. and i tend to have conversations about stuff that's goin' on with people. so it makes sense it would happen.

i do the same with things people have said to me.
things they'll never remember saying. but they made such an impression on me that i'll never forget.

so what i'm thinking really ought to watch what it is we say!

wouldn't it be awful....and i'm sure it's the case with me just as much as the other that something we said that hurt stays with that person forever....and what an awful feeling to have someone come up to you at a party with THAT being the thing that they remember!

i've been gettin' a few bumps from people not thinking about what it is they're saying. and it's been bothering me. but you know what? this morning i'm more concerned about what it is i say.

words matter so much.
they reflect who you are more than i think we know.

i had a reminder in that this morning so i thought i'd put one out here for anyone else who might like a reminder.

i want to pay a little more attention to my words.


Brigitte / La de Ojos Azules said...

While I was reading your post I was nodding (like I usually do)... until I got to the end, that is. When you said that maybe we ought to pay more attention to what we say, although in part I do agree with that, so we wouldn't go around hurting people unknowingly, something inside of me said, 'maybe that's not such a good idea.' After all, it is usually when we are NOT paying attention in any particular way that we say something that "hits the nail on the head" for someone. What I'm trying to say is that if we start paying too close attention to what we're saying, we may interfere with the times when we unknowingly "connect" with another person. Does this make any sense? Just be you, Ter, don't force it or try too hard, and everything will turn out fine. That's what works best for me, I find, and it's when I try too hard that I tend to mess things up.

terri said...

thanks, ms. b! yeah, that makes sense. and i'm with ya! i pretty much meant i want to watch the negative stuff....not dish out negative words....i don't do that a whole lot, but i still do it.

that's all....but your point is a great one and i appreciate the reminder!! :)