feelin' those emotions of mine.....

there's this band that has really stolen my heart....
they're called 'poets of the fall' and i love love love their lyrics.
they play with words in a way that works wonders on me.
their music just feels perfect sometimes.

i was sitting here working with them playing and my gosh,
they keep throwing lines out that practically knock me out
of my seat.

and i've heard these lines many many times.
yet today, i had trouble sitting still thru them.
thing is......i'm a bit emotionally raw i think and stuff can be
touched so easily today. i'm just watching it with amazement.

there's a situation in my life that's frustrated me for years.
i don't have much say in it, i just get to watch mostly and it makes
me crazy.

one of their angry songs came on....and it overwhelmed me.
there's a line in there that kinda never sat well with me cause it
was so angry. i don't have anything against anger...just this line
has never worked for me.
but today, in my raw state, it just felt perfect.
i turned up the music, got up and started dancing and singing along.
when i got to the lyrics that have always been catchy to me,
i joined right in - 'go ahead, make my day, cause i'm outta cheeks
to turn the other way'- i was soooo filled with feeling it.

it felt so good to just acknowledge the anger inside of me.

just felt so good to say 'oh yeah, look at that, and you know what?
of course! it's okay to feel this way, girl. just feel it.'

and apparently that's not all i needed to feel......

a few songs later, one line just about sent me into sobs -
'outta my way, i'm running.....with an excuse just underway...
reality is so daunting...and i've got no way to explain....'

just the way he sang 'outta my way i'm running' i wanted
to get up and run right there with him.
i soooooo wanted to run and leave some stuff behind.

i truly just about burst into tears.

wow.
i guess it's emotional day, i thought.
and grinned.

feels good.
it actually feels good.

i need to feel today.
and i've got the day to myself.
so i can.

and my gosh, music sure can bring it out..........

just feeling all kindsa things today.
and tellin' myself that it's truly okay to feel this way.