packed to the brim with everything i could want, yesterday was wonderful.
it's so so so good to wander around with those sons of mine.
it felt like things inside of me woke up yesterday.
i was moved in so many different ways as we went thru the day.
thoughts about my life, my creativity, my spirit, all felt like they got nudged a bit.
and it felt good.
something i've been trying to get used to is the fact that i'm gonna be on my own
before i know it, without these apes hangin' around the house so much.
life is taking a different direction for me. they've always been such a big part of my joy.
where do i find it when i'm solo? can i find the joy on my own?
what is so cool is that while i was with these apes of mine, i saw clearly some
of the places joy just comes to me. and they won't need to be there for it!
there really are some great things that just make me light up inside. i saw
that and it felt good.
like a little reminder that there's so much ahead waiting for me. i kinda needed that.
i was even nudged inside about my business and what i want to do with it.
it was the coolest thing.
all kindsa pieces inside of me were nodding and thinking 'okay, okay, this is good.'
it was a day to be together with my sons.
and it felt so good to be with them.
and at the same time i got the feeling it was gonna be okay without them.
i think it was the first time i really understood that i'm starting a journey with myself.
it's like it really sunk in that i'm gonna get to know myself in a whole new way.
i thought i did that ten years ago when i divorced and started my own life.
and i guess i did. but the guys were the center of it.
maybe that's the thing with life, it's always a journey with yourself.
it's just that at different times there's different focuses and it feels new each time.
i don't know.
but for the first time, it feels really right to me.
and my gosh, i needed that.