so the cricket had a worse day....

it was one of those days.

one of those days that was challenging my very depths.
one of those days.

one of those days that says 'oh yeah? you think you got that down?
oh yeah? try this on for size.'

one of those days.

when finally i fell apart and just cried.

wondering if i should even dare return the call from my surrogate mom,
knowing i'd fall apart, but wanting to hear about her special day...
i decided to call.

faking it really good at first and hearing about her celebration,
we laughed and joked.

it was when she asked me how i was, that the flood of tears erupted.
as i was trying to get a grip i reached down and itched my leg.
i'm on the phone, looking down at my jeans and she's talking to me.
and i realize there's a lump of something in my jeans that's making
my leg itch.

oh my gosh.

what is this?

i squish it.

it gooshes.

and it's not part of me.

it's some sort of monster bug in my jeans.

i'm trying to be polite but this is getting pretty disgusting on my end.
and i'm freakin' out in a very polite sort of way.
yeah, cause that's what i do.
i  know.
amazing.

finally i tell her 'there's a bug in m jeans. hang on i gotta pull these things
off.'

and i'm laughing and crying and totally grossed out and don't want to know
what it was. but i do want to know what it was.

i get back on the phone and we joke about it all as i go round up some more jeans.
and i dump the dead bug outta my old jeans.

oh man.

i spose one could say it was a way worse day for the cricket.

i spose one could.

and the phone call?
one of the most comforting ones i've ever had in my life.
even with the bug incident.

there's a reason she's my surrogate mom.
and i just so needed someone to love me right then.
and there she was.
loving me like no one's business.
and telling me and showing me all in ways i could see and understand.

i thought it was a funny story with the bug.....
but it's really a great story with the love............