thinking about false.....

so we were talking about goals and how to achieve them.
not just achieving goals......but achieving them with someone who's got
some really deep issues. how that makes it so very complicated.
and changes what the goals are and what you do.

at least we thought so.

until we hit upon something as we talked.
and i smile as i type this.
seems all the stuff i'm typing is really truly no-brainer stuff.
and yet they all seem like great ideas to me!

it started by saying 'it's just false right now.'
and the word 'false' caught us both.

yeah. it was.
and we stumbled upon the idea of being true and honest to yourself.
and putting it out there.
even for those who seem somewhat emotionally crippled.

ya gotta laugh.
this was our big brainstorm - oh yeah.....be true to yourself.

so okay, i admit it doesn't sound like much.
but to me it did.
cause i think while the be true to yourself idea is perfect and
something easy to shoot for in a lotta places, it gets fuzzy when
we're dealing with someone we see as emotionally crippled.

we dance, we tip toe, we take care of, we try to nurture....
all the while doing no good whatsoever for either us or them.
but it seems like the kind thing to do. the loving thing to do.
or even the prudent thing to do. then things won't fall apart,
and we can keep going.

yeah.
right.

after we talked, i went about my business thinking about it.

what if we all knew what healthy was? and what if that was
our goal for ourselves always? and we just said without all
kindsa emotional strings attached - this is what's healthy for me,
and this isn't. and we didn't accept the not healthy?

oh man.
can you imagine?

it would not only make our lives so healthy, it would teach
everyone around us how to do the same.

i like to think i've got this down. and i do this a lot.
but where it gets fuzzy for me is exactly where it got fuzzy
in this conversation - when the goal becomes something other
than being healthy. when the goal becomes some certain outcome
and i become attached to that goal.

perhaps the goal should always always be 'what's the healthiest
thing for me right now?' and perhaps that goal should never waiver.

and i think of mister shakespeare and his quote i have hanging in
my studio - and look! he uses the word that started all this! false!

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.