Saturday, March 17, 2012

a reminder

there's been a lotta processing goin' on inside of me.
and i gotta say, i'm surprised about it all.

when something ends, i know there's processing....
but it seems like this is the second time in my life that i thought
i was emotionally prepared for something to end, only to wind up surprised
at how much of a toll it takes when it finally happens.

i don't think i'm ever gonna buy that line people say all the time
'we knew the end was coming so we're okay' again.....
cause i'm thinking processing just has to happen. even when you think
you did it beforehand. cause maybe you can't really do that beforehand.

i don't know.

i just know that i kinda wish i'd finish up with the whole processing thing.
and i'm pretty sure it has its own timetable.and i'll just have to go with it.

it actually has made me think of people with trauma.
cause this hasn't been trauma that i'm's been a ton of stress....
and sadness and stuff like that.....but that's different.

so the trauma stuff would have to be a thousand times harder to process
when it's over. and i thought of that this morning.

my first thoughts while waking up this morning were processing thoughts.
and that's when i thought about people suffering with trauma.

what if it was trauma and those were my first thoughts in the morning?
or the thoughts that crept into my head all thru the day were thoughts
of a trauma i had experienced? and that's just the thoughts....
that's not including the physical reactions....
the chemical change in your body when the thoughts come.

and i felt such compassion for people going thru that right now.
and i know a lotta people are. and how it must feel like there will never
be peace....

i wanted to be a reminder to you today....i think there will be peace.
i think there will. i just think there's that processing time that you gotta
get thru. and i think when you're in the middle of that it doesn't feel
like there's an end.

i believe there is an end tho.

and some.......yeah, i think some trauma will stay forever....but it will
be like waves you will be able to get thru. it will get better.

i don't really have any authority to say that. i mean, what do i know?
but i watch people and i see what happens....and it seems to work this way.
i believe it does.

and so i wanted to be a reminder to you today.
the resilience of your soul is pretty amazing. and we forget.
but that's okay, cause we just keep reminding each other and
reaching out and helping each other back up.

1 comment:

Susie Keeth said...

It seems like that whole processing of traumas can take some people a really long time, depending on how deep that trauma is and if it has been stuffed or not. Seems like for some people the processing never ends, but keeps getting a little bit easier over time. But to be able to give women a safe place to watch that process... to listen, to recognize themselves, to bond in their own new beginnings as they, hopefully, jump in eventually and participate in it is beyond amazing. Research has shown that with the shift to social media, and particularly blogs.... more and more women are finding for the very first time that they aren't alone on their paths, and as they make connections in the cyber world, they're learning a ton of really important information about taking care of themselves and all of the resources that are out there to help them. So.... more women than ever in history are finding their voices and their strength and courage and then they are finding themselves participating in life changing therapies that will eventually allow them to be at peace with themselves, men and their worlds. That is huge, given the fact that in the decades prior to the internet and blogs, suicide rates among women were climbing by leaps and bounds every year.... now they're falling. That is very huge. So, Ter, Thank you for giving us this place and the safety that is needed to learn how to start. And thank you for recognizing that some people wake up with thoughts of their trauma and sometimes those thoughts are triggered throughout the day every day by what seems to most people to be innoculous, but to the person in the trauma state, it is dangerous. We can bring those people in to this special place and wrap our arms around their them and their fears and lift them into the beginnings of beautiful healing.