pass along challenges

you know that feeling when you get really really sick and even tho you're a grown person
who's been sick a million times before, you just can't take it and you just want your mommy?

i remember feeling that way a couple times when i was really sick with small kids running around.
just please, someone come in and make it better. i just so wanted my mommy.

i was on the treadmill this morning thinking about some challenges in my life right now. and i was
filled with 'could someone else just fix this for me please?'

i grinned.
yeah, these are definitely 'pass along challenges.'
i just want to pass them along. have someone else deal with/fix them.

ah, but ter, do you?
do you really?

yeah.
laughing.
i really do.

okay.

okay.

nooooooooooooo.
i really don't.

probably don't.

no.
REALLY don't.

cause i know. i know. it's in the challenges i will grow.

sigh.

could someone else please do the growing???

sigh.

noooooooooooo.
okay.
okay.
i really DO want to grow.

so, okay, i can see the good i can get out of the stuff i gotta deal with.
i can this morning.

altho, lest you think i'm real good at this, yesterday i was pretty peeved at the whole deal
and had to do some physical stuff just to keep from starting a fight with anyone i came
in contact with.

but this morning i can feel some of my old energy back and i'm ready to step up.

and i realize how much having energy makes a difference.

this sickness i had recently, wiped me out of energy like crazy.
between that and the grief stuff, my energy's been totally down.

so the scattered wandering thought i'm trying to share here has two parts......

1. even when we get those challenges we really feel like passing along to someone else to fix,
if we could really look, we'd probably agree that we want to be the ones to fix them cause
the stuff we'll get out of it is truly what we need to travel to better places.

2. don't be hard on yourself if you can't quite grab it and deal with it right away. if you're
energy's off/low, it's more than likely going to have to wait til that gets a little stronger.

that's what i wanted to put out here today.

and a reminder that the energy DOES come back.
i swear, i've felt like mine would never return.....
or never stay once it showed up.
but this morning, i've got the ol' "tackle the world" thing goin' again.
and i'm hoping it stays for more than an hour or two!
cause i got me a challenge i gotta untangle.......