i found it!
i found it!
that laughter that has been missing for over a month.
oh, there's been moments it's popped its head back in...
there have been flashes...
but last nite i felt like it had returned for real.
i hurt my side recently.
i guess from all the coughing i've been doin'.
i have no idea.
but sometimes it hurts enough i have to kinda hold it so
it doesn't feel like it'll rip in half.
last nite, before we even got goin' on our adventure out,
noah said the one liner of the year. and i fell back on the couch
laughing so hard i had to hold my side.
i kept pointing at noah, not being able to breathe, holding my side,
and rolling around the couch.
welcome back laughter.
and then my sons and i hopped in the car to go to my other son's gig.
it was a tiny little home-town kinda thing.
comfortable and easy.
and everything that could go wrong for josh was going wrong.
but not in a break your heart kinda way.
in a 'i'm gonna have to hold my side again if this keeps up' kinda way.
josh was handling it all like a champ and making things more fun as
he went along.
i leaned over and laughed about something in zakk's ear at one point,
and he flashed the best grin back. he was enjoying the goofiness as well.
afterwards, when we were all home chatting about the gig,
josh said 'i never heard you laugh so hard at a show!'
and then noah did it again - cracked one of his famous one liners
and i grabbed my side and started laughing all over again.
and then he started laughing, apologizing cause he knew it was hurting me,
but still claiming it was hysterical to watch.
i swear, i haven't felt that feeling of happiness like that in over a month.
and something i've been watching in myself the past few days -
when something valuable shows up in one part of your life, and it's not
in every part...you can really really see the treasure that it is.
i've been watching my treasures.
where they are. when they show up.
how they fill my life.
and what it's like in the parts without them.
i think because they're not there constantly, and i'm aware of when they're
lacking....it helped me see.
and it helped me find that deep gratitude.
maybe that opened the space for the laughter....
i have no idea.......
but i know it came back last nite.
welcome home, laughter.