Thursday, June 7, 2012

sayin' so long to the mopes and hello to the squeals!

my guys will be moving out sometime soon.
they've been looking for's just a matter of that day happening
when they find it and then it's all changed.

well, being the big mature woman that i am,
i have been moping about this for ohhhhh about half a year now.

tryin' hard to look at it in different ways,
tyrin' hard to focus on all the good about it.
i mean, seriously, it's a great thing.
and i know that.
but still i moped.

sometimes pretty darn big time.
sometimes just quietly in the background.
but pretty much all the time in some form or another.

but now the oddest thing has happened.

i seem to be done moping!

now how does that happen?!!

i just seem done.

i'm not sure if it's all this trying to do things (projects) myself....
but i think that has a lot to do with it.
cause the more i try to work on my house, the more i feel like it's
MY house.

last nite i was out in my shed.
cutting a piece of wood for some house project thing i was doing.
i looked out the shed window back at the house.

and i just stopped.
and looked.
and smiled.
and thought -
that's MY house.

today i was cleaning the bathroom and i had that feeling
that i had when i was 16 and dreaming of moving out and getting
my own place.

my insides squealed and i thought 'i'm gonna have my own place!'

i haven't had my own place ever.
unless you count a month on my own in the apartment i was moving into
before i got married.

that doesn't count.

now, there are plans down the road to marry that guy of mine.
yeah, that is the plan!

but i think.....first..........i need to try this bein' on my own thing.
in my own house.

i'm gettin' so excited about it now.
and the moping seems to be over.

altho......i am holdin' out for two weeks of severe moping after they
actually do leave.

i figure i'll need that.
and then.......

it's time for a new part to begin, isn't it?

there's a lot to like about this story here.
but one of the things that really stands out for me here is this -

the moping has a life of its own.
like grieving and all that stuff.
it's gotta run its course.
and we gotta let it.
and remember that it does end..... in the case with grieving.....eases a bit.......
and life just keeps cycling.

1 comment:

Susie Keeth said...

I was so glad to hear that you're planning on a couple weeks of more moping after the guys are in their own place, cuz that's when the empty nest syndrome will hit.... but you have been doing some wonderful preparation work on this and now you're seeing a whole new take on the possibilities....That's huge!!
And your house (your very own house) is getting all fixed up!! You could really have some fun with this.... in between missing the other moments.