a light bearer for sure

i have just been so knocked out by the colorado tragedy
that i just couldn't figure out what i'd be blogging about.

that hits so deep that i just don't even know how to talk about what's
inside of me. and everything else feels so trivial.

and then.....yesterday i met someone that i love.
we've known each other for years over the internet.
but yesterday was the first time ever we met in person.

and i knew that she was something/someone i could blog about!

because to me she IS light and love.
and right now that feels way important to be talking about.

i've mentioned her here before and guided you to her blog
more than once. she's my buddy, pam.

and josh and i got to meet her yesterday!
we picked her up and whisked her off to the sights of DC.

wandering and joking and chatting i was delighted in her being
just how i pictured.

but it was when we landed at the little table and pulled out our
sandwiches to have some lunch that we hit my favorite part.
i had heard a lot of her stories over the years. but to put them
in an exact time line and keep it all straight....that i haven't been so
good at.

so i asked her for a timeline of her life.

and she sat and told josh and i her stories. tying it all together for me.

this is a woman who has seen some of life's hardest struggles.
she's seen them, lived them, and come thru them in a way that astounds me.

this moment in the art gallery catches it for me -
josh brought us in to a room that had some of his favorite paintings.
i commented that what got me about them was the 'white' in them...
how the white just glowed.

she laughed, looked at me and said 'it's not the white, it's the LIGHT.'

and my eyes got big.

yes! it is!

and that is pam.

she gravitates to the light. she knows the light. she lives the light.
and this woman came by the light the hard way.

in one of her recent blog posts she wrote the following -
"The world does break everyone, sooner or later.  What matters is not that we are broken.  What matters is whether we choose to live from our brokenness or to allow ourselves to heal and to live from the strength of our scars.  We cannot be fully alive and avoid being broken; but we cannot remain broken and claim to be truly alive."

pam is truly alive.
and she knows what matters, and where to keep the focus.
her stories she shared were full of such pain and deep deep sorrow.....and LIGHT.

and i thought about that.
and how that's the only thing right now i could really bring to this blog.

to remember the light.
and no one could be a stronger reminder for me than this woman.

it was a wonderful visit cause i got to meet someone i love.
and it was a wonderful visit cause i so needed to be reminded right now of the
light in the darkness......