Tuesday, July 3, 2012
i was gonna finally sit and write about THE STORM.
it was SUCH an event this weekend, and the scariest storm
i had ever been in...
i hadn't had a chance yet. and thought it'd be the perfect morning
but then i got sidetracked.
one of the guys needed a haircut.
and for sake of privacy, we'll usual fictional names -
we'll call him larry.
i was out watering my plants with joy as our water ban just
got lifted. while i was talking to my thirsty plants, larry came to the window.
can i get a haircut?
i'll be in in a moment.
he wanted a buzz kinda thing.
i hate those.
so i always balk.
reluctantly agreeing, and noticing the blade he handed me wasn't gonna cut
too much off, i felt better and began.
i smiled as i saw how little it was cutting off.
i like their hair longer.
so this pleased me.
finishing up, i was reaching for the scissors to cut around larry's ear.
this has been a joke with us for years.
for some reason, i just never ever ever get all the hair cut right around
the ear. it's uncanny. you can bank on it.
so, larry, being a logical, technical kinda guy handed me the 'ear blade.'
i can't use that.
i don't understand it, i said.
he explained it to me.
OOOOOhhhhhHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh no i can't use that.
see, i know that the only way i'll learn how to work it is by trying it.
and that no one wants me to learn that way on their head.
but larry was game.
he showed me how to do it, holding the razor up to his head and
mimicking the movement.
piece of cake.
i mean, seriously, how hard can this be???
it's not rocket science, as they so often say.
and then the horrified look flashes on my face which i immediately
realize isn't helpful so i try to change the horror into a nonchalant kinda
'oh, look.' kinda look.
larry bursts into laughter.
i immediately thank god larry is not a girl.
i would have had to deal with shrieking and crying and some true
drama....because....well.......the moment called for it.
larry calmly says 'don't worry about it' and hands me a shorter
blade to kinda even it all out.
hmmmmmm.........not quite short enough, larry.
how do i tell him???
so i try.
i really do try.
maybe if i cut it over and over and over and over and over it'll
somehow look okay.
okay, maybe i need some advice from someone else who can see this.
i'll get larry's brother, ed.
and then i think....wait....i'd better go give him the heads up (great pun!)
before he walks over here.
so i got to ed's room.
i explain there's been a haircut snafu.
and could he please CALMLY come look at it.
counting on his ever calm persona, i follow him over to where larry
sits, covered in tiny hair, patiently waiting for the conference.
ed looks....can't figure the problem.
he looks fine.
looks around larry's ear.
he looks fine.
well.....ummmmmm........it's not that ear.
it's this ear.
ed circles around larry's head.
and then he bursts out laughing.
throws his head back and keeps on laughing.
i squirm more.
this is not the kinda help i'm looking for.
he then tells larry 'it's like when you hit the hill with the lawnmower.'
i hit ed, tell him he's not helping.
choking back his laughter, ed grabs the scissors.
'we can fix it'......and he digs in.
well....yeah, that's a good description.
it looked like he dug in.
there's now a groove in larry's head near where the lawnmower patch is.
i grab the scissors from ed.
larry is not missing the action taking place all on his head.
he's generally a control freak anyway,
how he's being so calm and patient and letting us do this to him
is beyond me.
i glare at ed.
'you're making it worse!'
i'm in agony, cause i have the girl drama genes,
and larry shakes his head, hands me the shortest blade he can find,
and says 'just shave it.'
i sigh and shave his hair way way short.
and he likes it.
he likes it.
the guy likes it.
no girl on earth would have reacted this way.
it's moments like this i realize i like having sons.
he looks like a military guy.
it's not my favorite look in the world....
but this morning.....i don't know.......i'm thinking it looks perfect.
and i'm thinking i don't want to use that earblade again........
at 8:17 AM