the compass int he threads

you  know....it was just life.....just a regular day.....

but i tell ya, just thinking of some of the topics from it,
what really stands out for me are the threads....the millions of threads
that weave thru life.

there was the family photo session where we visited and looked
at the old albums. wow. talk about some stories. and there's so many
parts to each story i'll never ever know. but i can guess at a lot of 'em.
and i sit back and just kinda think how intricate life is.

there was the talking of 'stockholm syndrome' later that day.
i never even heard of it. zakk explained it to me. and i immediately thought
of patty hearst. later that day, i looked her up on google to get her story
a little bit more straight in my mind. yet another truly complicated story.

i tried to help several friends...........none of which worked......cause i tried
to step into territory that was too complicated. i watched that happen and
wasn't the least surprised that it flopped. sometimes you just can't wade into stuff.

i watched a conversation in a very complicated relationship try hard but
miss all the stuff that mattered. there are too darn many threads for them to
sort thru.

and there was so much more........i could go on and on. and it was one regular
day. just one regular day.

i've talked before of the opposites that seem to make sense to me.
how i call it the yin yangy stuff.

life is short. life is long.
that kinda thing.

those things where they're both true.
i got this from my yesterday -

life is so very very complicated.
life is so very very simple.

and that's what i'm taken with today.

i want to have the awareness to know the threads are everywhere.
to know they're covering me and everything around me.
i want to acknowledge the intricacies. and respect them.

and i want to remember not to get lost in them. not to be fooled
and think that they are what matters. to know there's something
way simpler that matters.

and i have no idea how to put that way simpler thing into words......
the only way i can think of sharing it is by summing it up by saying
that it's a way of living that's an 'honoring of myself'.....a true honoring
of my spirit and my heart.

holding that feeling and that honoring and using it as a compass....
that's the part i don't want to lose in the threads.........