Wednesday, August 1, 2012

laughing and thinking and trying some more

the thinking went like this -

he's a guy. he has this issue to deal with. he's dealt with
it forever with me, we've made progress, there's probably some
logical guy line he tells himself to keep an eye on this stuff.

it seemed like a normal, logical thought in my head.

so i asked him - 'do you have some logical guy thing you say to
yourself to help you in seeing me in our relationship?'

and i just so wasn't ready for the look on his face. and there was
this pause and he turned to me with that look and he said
'did you just ask me if there's one sentence out there that explains women??'

between his look, the pause, the question, the tone, i just curled into laughter.
then he proceeded to list all the houses in all the cool places of the world we'd
have if he had that answer.

'i really don't get it. all this stuff makes sense to women.' i said, still kinda
chuckling.

there must have been some pent up energy here because his response was
'exactly!' and he went on to describe the different males of the world who wanted
this sentence i'm looking for. he got carried away and somehow i was hearing about
bulgarian men and men from places i can't even remember.

i started laughing all over again.

and then i seriously asked him what he did to see me.
and he seriously answered 'i work on it all the time.'

which was cool.
but then that was followed by things like 'all the time.' 'over and over again.'
'constantly'......this kinda stuff. which i'm not getting exactly right, but that's
what it sounded like to me.

my eyebrow went up -'okay, that's not feeling so great.'

it was his response that really got me - 'why? you do too.'

i stopped laughing and thought about it.
yeah.
it was true.
we both work on this stuff constantly.
and actually, for the amount of work we put into it, you'd think we'd be pros
by now. but oh my.........we are sooooooo not.

and we both get it's something we're always going to have to work on.

and as intuitive and touchy feely as i can be, i miss so much just exactly because
he is a guy. and he's so different than me. it's a double whammy. our thought
processes are completely different. and so many times i try to figure him out
thru my own my thought processes.

and that just doesn't work.

this is such a great topic to be rolling around in my brain lately.
cause it's not just with him.
it's with everyone........

you'd think it wouldn't be that hard to remember everyone isn't wandering around
with the same thought processes. you'd think that'd be a no brainer that we'd all
be understanding and working with.

yeah. well. i have a little more work to do on this area.....with my guy, and with
everyone around me.

but what an absolutely cool thing to work on!
listening. hearing. seeing. and accepting.

kinda awesome, really.

4 comments:

Sherry said...

Well you've done it now Terri...gone and wrote it all out...right there in black in white...so now I can't pretend it's not true. I can't secretly hope anymore that one day he'll just *get* it...and understand the way I think!!! (And by understand I mean think the same way!!) Ha ha. lol. Why do you have to go around being all wise all the time??!! ;p Sheesh. Ha ha. Love you!

Sherry said...

P.S. I'm reminded of a quote of yours that I go to when I'm in this situation.... "just because someone doesn't act the same way as you, doesn't mean their heart's not in the same place." I don't think I have the wording exactly right...but it's from an older blog of yours...it was very helpful for me.

terri said...

lol! ah, sherry! i wish! if i was wise i'd start really getting this stuff! grin. oh well.....it's just more fun this way (i think!)...

terri said...

yeah. how come we're just not schooled in this and have it all down by now????
sigh......