Friday, September 21, 2012

diggin' in again

okay...it hasn't been the best week.
the most telling clue was prolly that i didn't take my mustache monday picture
down til wednesday or thursday! i didn't even realize i had left it there.
usually i'm on top of the fun stuff.

turns out monday i was overdone and stressed from a hard weekend,
and i got on the treadmill to get the stress out of me. i think between
gettin' on there like a mad fool after a few days of not doin' much with
my foot except driving, i clobbered my foot pretty good. between it all,
i creamed it.

so i've been hobbling around all week when i needed to be running around.
there's been so much on my plate, and i can't do it cause i can't move.
i keep telling myself it's okay, but i don't really believe me.

i guess the last straw came last nite when a celebration trip this weekend
was talked of getting canceled because of my foot. i had suggested crutches
but they were ruled out because i'm having wrist problems.

i just got so frustrated.

this morning i woke up sulky and whiney. still hobbling.
and thinking 'THIS is why old people are so grouchy.'

and THEN i got a note from a friend warning me to be careful over on fb
as i was gearin' up to do a bone sigh giveaway and they're not allowed
over there anymore. as i was posting that, i figured out why they prolly
aren't allowed anymore......cause they're coming up with a thousand ways
to make money off of this stuff and so it looks like i'd have to 'promote'
it which would cost money.

this feeling just came and sat on top of me.

i tell ya, i was about to cry at that point..........when someone popped in
with a great idea of doing the giveaway thing over here. which i will
prolly end up doing.

the minute i read that and saw what a great idea it was,
some of the glum started to lift.

not all of it.
i'm still glum.
but i think i'm gonna sit with this (can't walk with it) and hold it a bit.
cause when she suggested the blog and the giveaway i saw how fun
that could be. i saw how it was a door that i hadn't thought of going thru.

and so.....isn't it the same with everything i'm glum about right now?
can't i use this as a chance to rethink everything?
and it IS everything because each move i make is being thought about.
well.....it's being thought about how i can best make it in the ways that
i always make it.

not how can i step in a new way in a new direction and try something different.
not that way.

i was just thinking yesterday afternoon that i want to watch the challenges
and use them to stretch myself. i seriously was thinking that.
and yet, it never occurred to me that applied to my physical challenges as well!
i can't believe how thick headed i am sometimes!

so instead of sitting here in a puddle of tears - which is really where i was heading -
i'm gonna lift my spirits and greet this challenge that has been gettin' me down all week.
and i'm gonna change my attitude.

it's a matter of trust, isn't it?
and i haven't been doin' that much this week.

sigh.
it's ALWAYS a matter of trust, isn't it?
and right back i go......diggin' in to practice once again.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Trust is in my face too Terri...I think something big is stirring and shifting and i've gt to trust the path i'm being led down so as i don't interfere (translate: FEAR)before it unfolds.
So I hear ya...
Connie :-)

☼Illuminary☼ said...

((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))
just cause