Friday, October 5, 2012

not so peaceful

okay, so i haven't gotten this down yet.
not by a long shot.
and it makes me really really does.

how on earth can there ever really be peace?

i am serious.

i'm a pretty peaceful person.

and i got crazed yesterday.

it seems to be part of the deal, that one of my quotes
in particular gets used a lot by other people selling products.

this one quote is offered in a catalog, and it's on the net a lot,
so it gets snagged.

yeah, i guess it's part of the business.

there's a general annoyance to start with, as i figure if you were
thinking and you cared, you'd google it and find out it wasn't
up for grabs to use. (but some of that was my fault in the beginning
and totally needs to be stepped up on my side....)

so yeah, i start out with a general annoyance.
but after having dealt with this enough, i know the right way to
go about it, both for ease and for my inner peace, is to be nice about it.

tell people nicely, let them know you know they didn't mean any harm,
provide them with a link to your site, your terms of use and ask them
to remove it.

99% of the people gasp, say they're sorry, and remove it.

but there's that 1%.
and i bumped into ms. 1% yesterday.

and i swear, it's like someone hits my crazy button.

so much so that i'm tempted to type out the whole stupid story.
cause it still bugs me.
and truth is, that needs to be left in the dust.

that's not the point.

the point is, how is it someone who works so hard on living from her heart
and offering all she can to the world, goes crazy when she bumps into the kinda
people like yesterday???

now,yeah, i get it.
this woman was annoying and rude.
and that will bother anyone.

i get that.

but the thing is........
i'm serious......
how can there be any peace in the world when someone who's annoying
and rude brings out the worst in you? (me)

it feels so important to me, i've been thinking about it ever since.

i watch the debates and feel lost and helpless, i look at all the stuff in
the world and shake my head, i can't make a dent in it.

and then i have something stupid happen and i act like a crazy person.
(well, to be fair, i didn't really do anything crazy or say anything toooo crazy,
but i really wanted to. and i was really upset.)

i understand that our feelings are our feelings.
i understand that there were some pretty strong feelings involved in having
someone take your work then be snotty about that.

i'm not discounting any of that.

what i'm thinking tho is this.....

when are the times to work on being peace?
when it's peaceful???

that's easy.

i didn't work on being peace yesterday.

i worked off of emotions.

i spent some time trying to figure out when i go the most nuts.
and it seems to be when someone i love (and i include myself in that)
is being taken advantage of or pushed around.

then i go nuts.

is it because i feel there's no reasoning with these people,
so just 'give it to them' in the way they can understand???

ohhhhhh wow.
is that it?

do i even think that much? or do i just react?

whatever it is, put it on a worldwide scale, and it doesn't work so good,
does it? and that matters.

this seems so important to me.
to get this down.
to be able to work with people in a way that fits my heart.

i can do that easy with the nice people.
it's the snotty people i gotta learn from.

if i'm ever gonna sincerely comment on wanting peace of any kind,
i gotta be able to offer it.

i'm sure i'll get my practice in.
i'm gonna try to remember to use it.


Dan McGaffin said...

I get that way at work (Panera Bread) sometimes Terri. Different situation, same result. There are two of us who open the sandwich/salad/soup part of the store during the week. I would say that I care about doing my job "the right way" 90-95% of the time. My coworker does not. Whether it is laziness, not caring, or whatever, there are times when his attitude affects me when it is my turn to open. So I get that. Today I was thinking to myself how much I wanted to knock this guy out because he hadn't pulled a couple of things from the freezer to thaw so that we had them ready to go today. It takes like a minute and he couldn't be bothered. So while yesterday was your crazy day, this morning was mine. I don't know the answer. I just kind of rage inside of myself for a little bit until either that negative energy is expended or someone distracts me.

Sherry said...

Yeah Terri, I don't know either...truly, if peace is possible. Cuz I look at the tensions that often come up with people that I love more than anything...and I think..jeez...if people we love so much can still drive us crazy, can we hope for understanding and peace on a worldwide scale?!?? Clueless here.