traveling on.....

it was almost uncanny the timing of it.

okay.
it WAS uncanny.

i woke up thinking about something that i felt very tight about.
i certainly wasn't open with any sense of acceptance about it.
i wanted to just turn from it and not acknowledge it

i rolled over and grabbed my book. (yeah, mark nepo again...)
and opened to the next section to read........

'the gateway to acceptance.'

no kidding.
i grinned.
of course.

starting off with rilke......

'As soon as we accept life's most terrifying dreadfulness,
at the risk of perishing from it...then an intuition of blessedness
will open up for us...Whoever does not, sometime or other,
give their full and joyous consent to the dreadfulness of life
can never take possession of the unutterable abundance and power
of our existence.'

woe.

do i understand why?
no.
nah.
not at all.

do i believe it?
yeah.
i think i really do.

and yet again, there's just too much here to type out.
so i'll just grab a couple of lines here that give the gist of what
he's talking about.

'In our modern world, acceptance is often misconstrued as
resignation, as acquiescing or giving up. In actuality, as you can see,
it is acceptance that makes right action possible....Accepting what - is
often lets us find our way thru difficulty"

i've been thinking a TON about acceptance.
and since i've been thinking about it, i've been noticing.....

i'm not real good at it.

like um......a whole lot worse than i realized.

and it just goes unnoticed.

so there i was, uncomfortable with something that was going on,
and wanting to just turn and not look. didn't even consider
the idea that i'd have to accept what was and go from there.

how often do i do that? i wondered.
just turn away?

it's time to start paying more attention, i think.

i'm just getting the feeling of how important acceptance really is.
think it's gonna rank up there with other words like 'honesty and trust'
and i'm thinking i've never paid nearly enough attention to it.

ahem.
well.
the time is now, i guess.

and the hard part will be seeing when i don't do it.
cause i think i've gotten pretty blind when it comes to this......
but how cool to see that i need to do this!
i can already see just noticing it making a difference.

oh yes!
and she traveled on.......