Thursday, December 20, 2012

my christmas dance with life.

it's the holidays.
seems like everyone's schedules are a bit different.
there's more chaos happening around me.
i can't figure out what day it is.
and when i ask those around me, they're not quite sure either!

it's the holidays!

my mood goes from joyful to sorrowful.
many times a day.
up and down and all around.

ahhhh the holidays.

when i feel sad tho, some sort of really nice thing shows up.
a son of mine will walk thru and say something nice,
a really cool note will come thru,
a friend will call and make me laugh real hard.

and each time......EACH time, somewhere in the back of my mind,
i watch it and say 'look. don't miss how lucky you are.'

this has been happening enough where i'm noticing and watching
and smiling. and i'm so grateful for that little voice that keeps whispering
to me 'look! don't miss it!'

i walked thru my living room and realized a good thing to feel grateful
for and gave a 'thumbs up' to the universe.

i sat and did some work at my desk, and put my head in my hands
feeling just so sad about some stuff.

over and over up and down all around.

it's the holidays.
and more so than ever i'm watching the play of light and dark.
sad and happy, joy and sorrow.

and it's such a dance right now, i'm thinking the only thing to really do
is hang on to the shoulder of life and follow its lead........let it whirl
me where it will.

someone i love dearly called to ask me what i thought about something going
on in her life. and we talked about the ability to just sit and watch and just
allow ourselves not to know what the heck is going on. and to just go along
with the dance.

it's the holidays!

and i'm in for this dance this year in a way that feels new to me.
i have no idea what's going on and i'm trying to allow myself to be okay
with that.

i'm going to start picturing life taking me by the waist and twirling
me around, while i hold on and trust and spin and let my hair fly all around.

some of the dips may get to me.
but i do's all part of the dance,
and i'm in.

it's a visual i think i want to hold on to thru these holidays.....

it's my christmas dance with life.
up and down and all around.

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