a dream that fits more than me, i think.

okay, i really do realize no one (except a therapist maybe) really needs
to hear someone else's dream.

no worries, i'll leave the dream out of it as much as i can.
altho i have to put pieces in here to talk about it.

i'm wondering how this dream relates to the post directly below this one.
i had typed out the 'inspired' post below, and then went to sleep.
and had a dream.

and in the dream, a little girl fell over this cliff kinda thing.......
a thing where if you fall over, you're not coming back.
you're gone.

upon waking, i realized she was a part of me.
she was a piece of who i was.

she fell over while i was hosting a party.
at this party were significant people who represented my entire past.
when i woke up, i realized that my whole life as at this gathering.

and at this gathering, i 'had to be polite' even tho i knew i had lost her.
i had to 'hold it together' and host this gathering.

(in the dream, i believe i thought she was my daughter.)

to get thru and actually function, i had to put barricades up so that
i wouldn't look over at where she fell, and i wouldn't have to deal with it.

also of interest, when she first fell, i went to tell the main unit of people,
and i couldn't speak. i tried, and no sounds would come out. i made
gestures and pointed. but couldn't speak.

and i let someone else go and search for her remains.

wow.
wow.
wow.

WHAT a dream!

i don't usually do dreams here. as they're so personal and relate to me
and no one else.

but i don't know.....this one feels like it could relate to a whole lot of us.

how many of us have experienced this? only we don't even know it?
and so far, how it relates to the post directly under this one, is i'm thinking
this is all part of the journey of real - knowing it happened, acknowledging
it happened, talking about it......

and maybe......somehow understanding that the little girl never had to hit
bottom. she could have been floating around all this time, waiting for me
to understand. waiting for me to clear the space that pushed her out in the
first place.

maybe she's an important part in not hiding.

i don't know. i'm still mulling it all over.
but i had to put it out here.
cause i'm thinking others can relate....even if they don't know it yet!!