inspired

okay.
i think it's just me.
i think this will just make sense in my head.

cause it's prolly a jumble.
and my head's a bit of a jumble.

but a tickled jumble.

i've been thinking about this 'being real' stuff a lot since the other nite
at that gathering. (see a few posts below)

and yeah, it's been a topic for me for the last ten years.
and i've made great strides in the field of real.

and then the 'no hiding' has been a topic with me and my guy for the last
few months.

so it's not like it's never on my brain.
and it's not like i'm never working on it.

but it seems to be budding into new energy for me right now.

i REALLY want to become real.
MORE real.

and i'm kinda tickled.

so then i grabbed some books and sat down for a few minutes.

and i got this!

from mark nepo's 'the exquisite risk' -

'When tripping into the heart of things, it is a full and bottomless
attention with no intent or expectation of result that brings us there......
'Quite simply, it is through the beauty of what is real that I trip from time
to time into the well of being. And in so doing, I experience a sensation
of aliveness that defies all words.'

oooohhh i thought.....yeah. yeah. yeah. that's it.

i got all tingly inside.

yeah. this is what i want.

altho, he's talking about tripping on into it.
and yeah, that's usually how i do things....i bumble my way in.....

and then i grabbed my other book with, of all titles, -
'becoming real - harnassing the power of menopause for
health and success' by rose kumar.

'becoming real'....you gotta love it!
and i found these nuggets -

'Shame is the toxic feeling that contaminates a woman's relationship
towards herself. ....Women in midlife want to purify their relationships
to themselves by living from integrity and truth despite the lives they may
have created from their adaptations and conditioned behaviors.'

and just above that is this goodie....'Women needed a framework that
could mirror for them their greatness and their highest potential so
they could connect with their truth.'

okay...so i don't know if these sentences i grabbed all go together for anyone else
or if it's just me.

but what i see in all of them is the acknowledgement that it's right there....
the real.....it's right there......and when you're there....you are so so so in
the flow. yeah. that's what i took away from all that. affirmation and
inspiration.

so this flow stuff i've been thinking about (again, another post below)
and this real stuff....it's all goin' together.

now.
to just do it.

and i think that starts with not hiding.

i've got some places i know i've been hiding in.

i know it.
am aware of it.
have been doing it on purpose of all things!!!!

and am thinking it's time to stop.

so, that's the plan.
for today.
until i get scared again.
of course.

but for now...i'm just feelin' way way inspired.

to just be.

to just plain ol' be.

how cool is that?!