Monday, February 4, 2013

a no brainer that took me awhile to figure out...

so i spent the day at the car show.

totally unusual for me as i have zero interest in the car show. son and my guy were goin' and i was invited.
you can't pass that up.

and while no, the show didn't do much for me,
being with my son and my guy did.
it warmed my heart watching them looking at the cars together
and talking car stuff.

i took pictures of shiny things and bits and pieces of the cars
for abstract photos to use in my greeting cards.
and i watched my guys look at the cars.

i picked a few favorites and rolled my eyes at others.

by the time we got home, i had enough of car shows.
in fact, i was okay if i didn't even see another car for a long time.
well, until i needed one, anyway!
my guy said goodbye, and i headed in with my son back to my
other sons.

the superbowl came up.
should we watch?
'sure' i said.
'turn it on.'

i have never in my whole life seen a superbowl.
nor do i care to.
but here i sit sandwiched between two sons on my couch,
with the tv set up special for this event.

and yes, i'm typing as i hear on each side of me 'ohhhhhh' over some
kinda football thing that just happened.

no, i won't sit very long and watch this thing.
i mean, really, i did a car show today as well.
but i'll stay a bit and make noises and have some fun.

but the thing that's on my mind thru all this is a piece of love that fascinates me
and i wanted to bring it up this month for love month....

the differences in us.
and the beauty of that.

on the surface, my partner and i could not be any more different.
underneath, our similarities surprise me.

but the differences between us have taught me a ton.
the idea that we don't have to be the same....and how that's really okay!

at first some of it was a real struggle.
and no, i don't have them all down smoothly yet.
but i've made my way thru a lot of them.
and i see how they truly are a part of our personalities.
and it's really a cool thing - even tho it can be a bit unnerving at times.

and the same with having sons....
there's a whole ton of differences that i've had to work my way thru.
and no, i don't have all of them down smoothly yet either....
but again.......i see how cool it is.

and while it may sound like a no brainer,
i can tell you when i was married, i didn't like the differences,
i didn't work with the differences, and i wanted parts of the person
i was sposed to love to change.

obviously, that didn't work real well.

and i see now how that isn't love at all.
and while i think it's a no brainer now,
it took me a long long time to figure this out.

really loving someone is loving the differences as well.
and sometimes when i get stuck on a difference that i have trouble
with, i go to the bigger picture and think 'this all makes the person
i love and THAT is a cool thing.' and then i can smile.

luckily, i think i was always a lot more open about the differences
with my sons. but no, i wasn't always open to it with the main partner
in my life.

and makes no sense to me to say you love someone,
but you want to change them. i just can't see that as loving someone.

and the beauty of it?
the changes that have happened in me as i've come to realize this!

who knew?
it was ME who had to change when i was looking at the other to
do that very thing!

and it is my partner who has taught me this better than anyone,
because of our differences, yes. but also because he's really
really good at this himself. and it is in his example i have learned
a ton. takes a ton of self growth, as far as i can tell.
which is also a way cool thing.

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