gliding

there we sat talking about 'coasting.'
it had been on my mind.
i had been watching it around me,
and i was totally seeing how i didn't want to do it.

now.
to be clear -
i understand -
everyone coasts.
including me.

you know.....the living of life where you're not really living.
you're not thinking, you're not absorbing, you're coasting.

he mentioned how we all had to do that in parts of our lives
or we'd burn up. and yeah, i totally agree.

if we didn't coast about a ton of things, how would we survive?
to truly take it all in would be too much.

i get that.
but that's not what i'm talking about.

i'm talking about the areas in our lives where it's important for us
to pay attention....and yet, for many different reasons, we stop.

an easy example comes from parenting.
you think you know your kid.
you've lived with them long enough.
you know them.
so you stop looking.
and you assume.
you roll along on coast and forget to pay attention.
all the while changes and growth happening that you miss.

that happens all the time.
i've done it.
it's hard not to do it.

thing is.......catching ourselves is vital.

or you say something matters to you and you'll look into it.
you never quite get around to it, you just grab whatever you
hear in passing as the info you need, and you don't do the work
to find out anymore.

you coast.

that kinda thing.

so i've been watching some coasting around me.
and i've been thinking 'okay, ter, where are you coasting?
cause you really really don't want to do this in the areas of your life that matter.'

and so there we sat.
talking about coasting.
and i just filled with the feeling of it being something i wanted to pay attention to.

the next day found us in another conversation.
i was hurt by a friend not seeing me yet again.
and i asked him - 'does it just always happen sooner or later
that people forget who you are?'

and he brought up coasting.
he said he thought it had a lot to do with that.
how people stop looking.
stop taking in, being aware, paying attention.
they coast and you are whatever they want you to be.

'we really ought to call it gliding,' he said, 'since it seems to take a person downwards.'

that really really caught my attention.
no kidding.

by its very nature you stop going upward.
you stop growing.
you go downwards.

and yeah, we do it all the time.
which makes it all the more important to stop and ask ourselves -
where am i gliding? and am i going downward because of it?

on my mind these days....big time.