listening

i caught a cold.
or it caught me.
and since i plan on sleeping in as late as i can,
i thought i'd post tonite.

and maybe it's because i have cold medicine in me
and have read the news, that i had some thoughts in the shower
that i wanted to share.

it feels to me like there's so much noise.
so much talking at, arguing with, yelling about...
that there's very little real listening and real sharing going on.

of course, that could be the cold medicine talking.
cause it seemed louder tonite than usual.

but i got to thinking about that in the shower.
and i thought of a recent conversation i had with someone
i respect deeply, and i thought of the listening and sharing
that happened in that conversation.

it wasn't the listening and sharing of people who came from
things the same way. i think when you get that combination,
a lotta times we think we're listening, when in fact we're just
agreeing and only paying half attention.

but when you don't know if you agree or not,
when you're not sure what the other person is thinking and
want to find out, when you care about their thoughts and when
you really share......there's something incredibly beautiful about that.

and i realized it could happen because of the mutual respect
that was alive between us.

that led me into thinking about respect.
and how it feels like there's not a lot of respect out there for
each other.

not necessarily saying there should be.
just saying there seems to be a great lack of it.

no wonder no one's listening.

how do we get the respect back?
how to we gain it ourselves?
how do we give it?

how do we grow respect?
does anyone even care to?

what else drives the non-listening?
fear?
need for control?
self esteem needs?

there's so much to it all.

i thought of my immediate family.
the people i respect most of all.
i know their hearts and respect them deeply.
i want to hear them and learn from them.

and while i have all the respect in the world,
i forget the appreciation from time to time.
and i forget to listen.
and i lose so much at those times.

listening.
it's on my mind these days.
and i'm thinking it's way important.
and i wonder how we grow it.....