workin' on the habits...

i started reading about habits.
and i gotta say, i'm really really excited about the idea of looking at my habits
and working with them.

i have also just barely begun a book about becoming aware of what we say
to ourselves - being aware of our negative self talk.

what an interesting thing to have the two come into my life at the same time!

i realized recently in a way that felt a little deeper, that i can be pretty darn hard
on myself. and would like to see if i can soften that up. it's not so much calling
myself names or saying really rotten things to myself......but more not seeing
myself.......not being gentle with myself.

so there i am, reading about habits and trying to figure out how to work with
my eating habits. in trying to figure that out, i figure i can work on being kinder
to myself at the same time! pretty darn cool!

so it goes something like this -

habits all start with a cue that sets it off, then there's the response, then the reward.
so you gotta figure out what the cue is.

so, i eat too much.
what's the cue of why i eat and when i eat?

i think a lot of my eating is when i'm 'off' in some way.
off balance -
and in my life, my goodness, that can happen about ninety thousand times a day.
and then i think i go looking for something to eat to kinda fill up a spot that feels off.
and the reward, i guess is feeling like i filled it.

so they say the idea is to change the response to the cue.
you'll still have the need....
but you change what you do about it.

so how about this? i came up with this idea and got all excited! -
i get that urge to get up and go find a snack....
i stop and realize what it is i'm really looking for and then i go and do something
nice for myself -
something that makes me feel better about myself -
it could be as simple as painting my toenails....writing myself a note about something
good about myself......that kinda thing........
the reward is even better than the eating reward.......it really does fill something.
and in the process, i learn to be more loving to me.

i'm thinking this is a way cool thing to try.
there's a ton more in this book, of course.
i just nutshelled it big time.
i thought it was enough of a nutshell to share tho.
cause there's some really good stuff in this.

just being aware, looking at why you do something, aiming for something healthier...
and in the process maybe hitting on something else that needed to be hit on as well.

it's kinda exciting!
this whole book is exciting, and the next time i talk about it, i'll have the title.
i like the idea of really becoming aware of why we do things.
so much of living is just coasting.
and that seems like a shame to me.

i don't wanna just coast....ya know?
i want to treat myself with love - and live in that love.