Thursday, July 18, 2013

listening and responding....

the things we say, we say for reasons.
we don't just tell random stories, or offer random thoughts.
even if it seems like we do.
i'm pretty sure on that.

even the joking we do, we do for a reason.

things that matter to us, or important feelings,
or whatever's really going on inside us comes out in what we're saying,
stuff that bothers us comes up, or dreams being shared can
slip in without anyone really knowing it. we can quietly ask for help
mixed in words that unless you're listening to, you'll miss.

i believe that.
keeping that in my mind when i talk to others isn't always an
easy thing to do. man, i forget that a lot.

i might be hot, rushed, tired, half paying attention....whatever....
and i won't see what's going on.

which all makes me think of the fine art of listening.
they are not kidding when they call it an art.
it's also a gift.
to you and to who you're listening to.

i have been reminded n the past few weeks over and over again,
that listening AND responding to what you've heard is so darn important.

the response is vital to let the person know you have actually done
the listening - which means you did the seeing of them. and the response
needs to be offered with as much attention as the listening is given.

one response in particular has finally sent me into paying attention -
it's happened enough over the past few weeks from different people,
that it's time i looked at it - the correction response!

i have expressed things that i had done or planned to do that made my heart sing,
i shared these as a way of sharing my heart - only to get corrected by what i should
have done.

corrected??
really???

wow....that's so not a good response.
let's close all the doors, shall we?

thing is -

i have a feeling i might do this a lot myself.
and that bothers me.
why on earth would we do that???
why on earth would we tell someone that what makes their heart sing
wasn't done correctly?
why would we tell them HOW they should have done it?
when um....if their heart is singing, they probably got it right.
but are we listening enough to know their heart is singing and that's
why they're telling us? or are we too quick to tell them how to live?

honestly.
i'm asking us all to think about it.

why?

oh when you think about it, it's not obvious how we do it.
so think hard, look close....we can do it in a buncha ways.
in ways we think we're helping....
look close, i'm pretty sure you'll see it.

it's got to be because of our own issues, hang ups, concerns, lack of trust...
whatever....
but it's OURS....not theirs.

and yeah, maybe they can figure that out.
but do they want to keep offering then??

we forget.
we just absolutely forget that those around us are offering us gifts
all the time.

i forget it as much as i experience it.
and i guess it's the hits i get that remind me that i want to stop hitting as well.

the art of listening.
they're not kidding it's an art......

i want to practice it and practice it...
so that when someone is quietly telling me they did something that made
them happy, i will hear it, and i will pause and ask for more, and i will
listen til i can hear the music and then i want to dance with them -
because what greater joy is there than for someone to have done something
to make their heart sing? oh! i know........it's for someone to SHARE what
they did with me and let me in on it......

i want to make it so i don't miss those moments.
i really really do.





7 comments:

judy said...

Oh my goodness, Terri, you are so right.. made me cry.
This is my first visit and I will be back!

Diane Stefan said...

Judy, you will be awed and strengthened with all that Terri shares. . .she never fails to get me to thinking, to loving and honoring myself and to remember to listen and honor others. . .thanks ter. . .

terri st. cloud said...

thanks, judy....and diane...should we mention that we need to hire diane for our PR dept?? :)

Diane in AR said...

silly ter, I would work for you for free - just 'cuz I loves ya girl!!! Besides, all I do is tell the truth about your awesome-ness, your amazing art and share what I love...

terri st. cloud said...

:)

Sorrow said...

Shall I mention that your buddy Mark Nepo has an AWESOME book called "7,000 ways to listen" ?
and today when I wasn't using my words, because I don't get heard, I sat and read this.. and cried..
WE are so close to the earth that we often forget-it is alive. And the language of it's aliveness is what we call nature. When we listen to nature, we are listening to earth. Of course such a conversation takes time, because we are to small to readily grasp what the earth has to say. The vast earth has carried us our whole lives. Can we Thank it? It has held up and endured everything for Thousands of years, Can we ask it how? It speaks with a thousand tongues, none of which uses words....

terri st. cloud said...

wow, sorrow.......wow......