a way cool thing...

i can feel pretty safe in energetically nodding my head and saying that
my guy and i have earned the good stuff that is happening between us lately.

we have been down some amazingly rough roads together.
and they've taken quite a lot of energy, quite a lot of learning about each other
and much growing on both our parts.

and while i know we're not done by a long shot with rough roads,
i do think that we're hittin' a nice stretch between us, we both know it,
and we're both really ready for that stretch.

and what's interesting to me, is that with both of us seein' the stretch
right here in front of us, it's lightened some kinda load that needed lightening.
something's lifted, and there's something new between us.

maybe not new.
maybe just a little bit different.

whatever it is, i see a closeness growing deeper.

this weekend i found myself telling him something i had never told
anyone else in my life.

it was hard.
it was incredibly vulnerable.
and it took all the strength i had to do so.

that vulnerability stuff can challenge me to the max,
and take every muscle i have to get thru it.

and yet...it was the most moving moment of the weekend for me.

it's not at all about what i said.

it's about the fact that i said it.
and it's about the fact that he held it.
and that in that moment, we touched such real love.

i've been with this guy of mine a long long time now.
we've been engaged for two years.
and yet i feel like we're just beginning to really explore this love stuff together.
we're just now beginning.

how is that possible?!
it's like it took all those years to get ourselves ready for the trip.

it really feels like that.

altho, all thru the years it's felt like love.
but we both somehow know we're just starting now.
or it's just starting to get to where we can really explore.
this love stuff isn't a place you land and stay in.
i'm pretty sure about that.

it's a place you travel together and explore together,
and you never get to sit still in any one spot for too long.
which works out okay, as there's so much to discover.

i honestly had no idea that's how it worked.
but i'm thinking this is a way cool thing......