Friday, August 9, 2013

the story that stood out, the word that stood out.......

there's always the story that stands out, ya know?
when you sit and catch up and have more to talk about then there is time for....

i'm gonna water it down a great deal -
but i totally want to share this story, even if i can't give it the justice that
the owner of the story can.

sue was telling us (josh had come later to surprise us!) about when she
talked to one of her doctors about doing the clinical trial that she did indeed end up doing,
and that has indeed made the tumors disappear.

the doctor (who had nothing to do with the trial)  prefaced what she was going
to say with something like - 'can i be honest with you?'

both josh  and i groaned when we heard that intro.
it's never gonna be a good thing following that phrase.
(and that right there is a whole nother topic for a whole nother blog!)

and then she went on to tell sue that she really shouldn't hope that
the clinical trial would work. that it probably wouldn't, and she should
understand that.

oh man.
oh man.

apparently there was a lot pent up in sue at that point.
grinning here.
big time.
and apparently sue let the doctor know that it wasn't okay what she had
just said - complete with a 'shame on you' thrown in there.

and then sue went on to do the trial.....and four months later is tumor free.
and guess what?
she bumped into the very same doc.
and guess what?
she got to look that very same doc in the eye and smile and say 'it worked.'

i cannot tell you the thrill that went thru me when sue told this story.

i wanted to put it out there for different reasons -

i was really hoping we'd all see ourselves in that doctor.
i hope that everyone of us knows we are capable of saying the same thing.
and may we all see how it's NO HELP at all....and it only hurts and steals
something that someone needs - hope.
and may we all see that we don't know everything.
we don't know every outcome, even when it looks so darn obvious.
that's a big one for all of us to remember.

and then may we all see ourselves in sue.
i hope everyone of us can feel the strength we have inside ourselves to
put out strongly and in no uncertain terms that it's NOT okay to take
our hope away. and then to hold on to that hope anyway. and to do what
we have to do.

and then may we all see the miracle that happened, and know that some
things happen that we just can't quite grasp, and may we always believe
in miracles.

and an interesting side note about this miracle - i'm also crediting science, ya know?
i think it's a combination of a lotta things. but even if you went strictly with the miracle
theme - it's not miracle that got handed to her. she had to travel to hell to go get it.
i think she was a huge part of creating her own miracle.

that was the story that stood out for me.
honestly, i just got shivers when she told the story in person.

and then there was a word that stood out as well -


what an awesome awesome word.
a friend of sue's described her hair coming back as a resurgence.

i'm thinking it's a great word for sue coming back to life.
to know sue is to know the word fits.
she lives life full force.

i don't think i'll ever hear that word again without thinking of sue........

how amazing to be sitting at that table yesterday.


Sue Scott said...

Tears. Tears of incredibly, heart-overflowing joy. Thanks for letting me share my story (and life) with you. And for capturing this moment so well. (Ya had to put the 'shame on you' part in the story, eh? Hahahaa.). I definitely did straight up scold her like she was a 3 year old hope-stealer's true.....hahahaa. I brought her to tears though when I told her that I had to choose the way that had hope...and I had to chose the way that could make my life a gift to others who would come after me. That maybe the treatment wouldn't work for me, but maybe it would help the doctors know better how to help the next person in my same sickly situation. A final gift I could give to the body for cancer research. That part clearly touched the doc and brought her to tears. And my mother cried tears of "pride and sadness" for me. I know that the doctor was just trying to "manage my expectations" when she said to me "none of these treatments are likely to work, the chemotherapy or the immunotherapy". But I felt she was robbing my house at that moment. Cancer had already taken my TV, my DVD collection, my jewelry....lots of cool stuff had already been stolen from my house by cancer. Then Dr. Seam came along and tried to rob me of my hope. Well, my hope was all I had left really. My hope and a couple cans of soup in he pantry. so, of course, I couldn't let her take that from me. So, I got pissed and I told her so. I reminded her that SHE had said to me a couple months earlier "it's good to stay hopeful". Then there she was saying " there's no hope for remission in either of these treatments." I can't describe how it felt to serendipitously run into her last Weds. and when she said "how are you doing?", to simply reply "it worked". And then get to watch her stunned face when I described how I have no tumors anymore and my lymph nodes are all normal size again. She was dumbfounded. And happy for me. It felt great. And I could tell that Terri REALLY got it when I shared that moment with her. She knew what that felt like for me. She'd been holding that candle of hope right along with me....the whole scary, dark way. To all the star senders who hoped and loved and prayed alongside gave me this miracle...i believe it was the good energy that brought this about. My love and gratitude to all. I pray your lives are blessed with miracles and love's joy.

Diane Stefan said...

Truly an awesome day you, Sue and Josh had yesterday. . .awesome. You're so right - the worst thing we can do is to hurt someone's hope - hope keeps us going even in the hardest of times. Hopekillers or even hopewounders beware - we will come back at you like Sue did, we will not let you destroy our hope!! We will resurge!! (Loving that word now - and you know, ter, you can't spell it with Sue - reSUrgE !!!) Thanks for another great blog and for sharing these intimately amazing insights and times in your life. . .

terri st. cloud said...

just smilin' at you two....

Gardenbug said...

Sue honey, this was a part of a conversation your Mom and I shared before the treatment began.
"I had to choose the way that had hope...and I had to chose the way that could make my life a gift to others who would come after me. That maybe the treatment wouldn't work for me, but maybe it would help the doctors know better how to help the next person in my same sickly situation. A final gift I could give to the body for cancer research."
I had a dream back did we all! Your doctor has learned a great deal...and you are a huge part of that!

Sue Scott said...

Smilin' back atcha both. Diane, you are one awesome word-smithin' bear, baby! I will claim that word in my life even more now. And try to live it as best I can. Thanks, sweet D'bear. Have a great day pals. And thanks for making my days so great.

Diane in AR said...

Loved reading Suebear's comment here - made it all so perfectly clear in my mind's eye - Warning: do not steal hope!!! So glad you got to tell that doctor that IT WORKED - love and hugs - yup, bear hugs!!!