happy new year

driving home as the sun was setting,
i thought of the jewish new year which was just beginning.

a new year.

i really really liked the timing of that.

'i'm in.' i thought.

i had spent some time cryin' on my guy's shoulder over some
endings that were happening.we talked of just needing to 'let go.'
as i drove away from his house, i thought about that and whispered
'it's okay. it's time.let go.'

and then - more endings - my life as a mom is ending. it's the last couple weeks of the
guys being in and out here. i  know. i know. i'll always be a mom.
but the main stuff.......well, heck it's over. there's just the logistics
of the final move.

endings.

and beginnings.

some really awesome beginnings.

a time for me to find me.
a time for me to make my home mine.
a time for my guy and i to truly find us.

beginnings.

the nite was beautiful.
the air cool.
the insects singing their songs.

there had been a heaviness around me all day.
my guy had felt it, softly nudged me to lighten up and just relax.

i smiled.
big.
lighten up.
yeah.
yeah.
i need to do that.
i like it when i remember that.
or when i'm reminded.
it's such a good thing to do.
it kinda puts things back in perspective.

i pulled into my empty driveway.
looked at my house.
'happy new year!' i whispered to the place.

walking in, i found the throw rug i had ordered
for my new office that i was making in zakk's old room.

i smiled.
my new years present.

endings can be sad.
maybe they mostly are.
beginnings tho......they sure do hold some excitement.